


Peace Found With You

by Rearviewdreamer



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst, Established Relationship, Eventual Happy Ending, Flashbacks, Fluff, It will happen, Louis is a worried mess for obvious reasons, M/M, Missing Harry, No major character deaths, POV Alternating, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Sailor Harry, Suspense, Top Harry, did I mention the happy ending?, me pretending I know anything about sailboats, read fearlessly, things I write because I enjoy inflicting pain upon myself and others, though not so smutty
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-01
Updated: 2016-07-28
Packaged: 2018-07-19 11:08:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 34,978
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7358770
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rearviewdreamer/pseuds/Rearviewdreamer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Louis was only a couple of days away from a weekend escape filled with sunshine, billowing sails, and his husband when he received a phone call that changed everything.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This fic has been translated into Portuguese by Yoursfuckhs
> 
> http://my.w.tt/UiNb/JNu3xhDwID
> 
>  
> 
> This fic is currently being translated into Russian by Louinthestars!
> 
> https://ficbook.net/readfic/4589306

~L~

Louis blinks his eyes open as soon as he wakes. The clean, faint scent of laundry detergent still clinging to the sheets even though he and Harry are long overdue for changing them. Harry; whom Louis can hear rustling around in the room which solves the mystery of why the hell Louis is even awake at – he peeks at the soft light growing from the window – God, it can’t even be seven o’clock.

 

Louis claws his way from beneath the sheets so that his top half is free, sighing when he catches sight of the back of his husband’s head as he digs through their closet.

 

“What in the world are you doing?” he yawns out, his eyes squeezing shut again of their own accord. When he forces them back open, it’s to the sight of Harry sheepishly grinning at him over his shoulder. He’s fully dressed in a white t-shirt and a pair of red shorts with his parent’s boating school logo on the side.

 

“I didn’t mean to wake you,” he says, with a guilty bite to his bottom lip. “Good morning.”

 

“Morning. And, it’s fine. You didn’t wake me,” Louis yawns again, lying through his teeth.

 

“I’m sorry,” Harry says anyway, locating his waterproof jacket and shrugging it on. The yellow color of it paired with his hair pulled back into a bun automatically making him look like he’s ready for the open waves.

 

“Going somewhere, sailor?” Louis asks with a teasing raise of his eyebrow. He watches as Harry throws his rigging knives and the wallet containing his boating license over into his bag along with the rest of his gear before standing up straight to turn and face him with apologetic eyes and a similar sort of grin on his lips.

 

“Mum called. There are a lot of people and groups coming in today. It’s too many for them to handle on their own, so I’m going to go down a day early to help out.” Louis watches the long lines of Harry’s body as he crawls up the foot of the bed towards him. He lies down next to Louis, throwing one of his long legs over his hips before nuzzling his face into the side of Louis’ neck. “Are you mad?” he mumbles against his neck once Louis stops giggling at the feeling of his nose running along his skin.

 

They’re supposed to be driving down to Southampton for the weekend anyway. They’ve been planning to for the last two weeks, so it’s not like Harry’s sudden decision to go a day early will change anything. They’ll still get to spend that time together.

 

“Of course not.” Louis turns so that their faces are lined up to hold Harry’s chin and bring their lips together for the good morning kiss Harry deprived the both of them of. “You go now, and I’ll drive down tomorrow after work and meet you,” Louis says simply, causing Harry to eye him skeptically as a new grin pulls at the corner of his lips.

 

“You don’t mind the drive all by yourself?” Harry asks, thumbing at Louis’ bottom lip.

 

“Oh, I’ll loathe the drive all by myself, but I married a modern day pirate, so I can’t really complain, now can I?” he smirks. Harry fondly rolls his eyes as always when Louis calls him that.

 

“I’ll make it up to you. We’ll spend some time with my family when you get there, and then I’ll take you out on the water. Just the two of us for as long as you want.” His promise sounds amazing. Louis wishes he could ditch work and just go with Harry now. He loves nothing more than to watch his husband in action as he sails them across the open waters. “Would you like that?” Harry asks, nosing along the shell of his ear.

 

“Of course. When have I not?” Louis answers. Harry’s lips find their way to his jaw and then to his mouth, finally pressing against Louis’ lips with that familiar warmth that makes him regret the fact that they can’t just stay in bed all day.

 

Harry pulls back and Louis tries his best to follow, frowning when Harry chuckles at his persistence. “I’ve got to get on the road,” he whispers.

 

Louis huffs out a dramatic sigh, watching as Harry makes his way off the bed. He takes a moment to admire his husband’s cute little butt in the red shorts he’s wearing. He’d make a grab for it any other morning, but he manages to keep his hands to himself. “Alright, fine. Go on. Tell Anne and Robin I say hello.”

 

“Okay, I will,” Harry promises. “And I’ll text you when I get there.”

 

Louis nods, grabbing his phone from the bedside to table to check the time. He knew it. It’s only six forty-three.

 

“And _I’ll_ let Niall know that you won’t be able to make the show tonight,” Louis smirks once he checks through his messages and sees that their friend has already sent out a reminder.

 

Harry looks contrite as he picks up his bag and grabs his car keys.

 

“Shit. I forgot all about that.”

 

Louis yawns into his fist, using his other hand to wave Harry off. “He’ll live. Niall’s sure to have a dozen other shows this month that you can go to.”

 

Louis’ rationale seems to work as the small amount of guilt fades from of his husband’s eyes.

 

“I’ll text him later and let him know,” Harry decides before quickly making his way back to the bed. He leans over Louis to smack a wet kiss to his cheek with a soft, “See you tomorrow. Love you.”

 

“Aye, matey,” Louis says as he flips over onto his stomach and pulls the sheets over his head. “Now get out. I have nearly an hour before I need to get up.”

 

Louis listens for the sound of Harry walking away, but it doesn’t come. What he gets instead is a sharp pain from the swift pinch Harry gives his bum. “Don’t call me, matey.”

 

Louis giggles and waits until he hears Harry’s footsteps near the front door before growling another, ‘Aye, matey’ at him.

 

“I’m going to get you back for that,” Harry shouts just before he shuts the door and locks it behind him. Louis smiles into his pillow at his husband’s empty threat. Harry’s been claiming to make him pay for calling him matey since the day they met six years ago and it’s yet to result in any kind of retaliation, so Louis is pretty sure that he’s safe.

 

His morning begins again at it’s normally scheduled time when Louis’ alarm wakes him. He misses Harry lying beside him, poking fun at Louis’ sleep face and his bedhead. Louis always misses that whenever Harry’s away, even though Louis threatens to divorce him nearly every single time he does it; another incredibly empty threat.

 

By the time he’s dressed, out the door, and sipping his morning tea in his office, Louis receives Harry’s promised text message, letting him know he arrived on time. Louis’ only reply is a text that says, ‘ _Thar she blows_.’ He snorts into his tea when Harry tells him to fuck off. Louis can’t resist sending a sneaky little, ‘ _Aye, matey’_ , because it’s him and Harry really should’ve known better than to let him have the last word.

 

Louis texts him again around noon when work is slow and he’s getting antsy because the day is nearly half over and Friday is just within his grasp.

 

 _‘How’s it looking out there? Having fun?_ ’

 

Louis waits for a reply for a couple of minutes, but he doesn’t get his hopes up because he knows Harry can’t text while he’s out with a group. If he’s on the water right now, he’ll wait to check his phone until they dock again, and that could take a while depending on how far they are from shore.

 

Work ends and Louis practically runs out to his car in celebration. He’s checked his phone on and off again for the entire afternoon, but Harry still hasn’t answered him. Things must be really busy there. That’s usually the case whenever it gets so crazy that Anne and Robin ask him to come down. Louis sends him another text just before rushing into their flat to shower and change for tonight.

 

_‘Don’t work too hard out there. Stay safe. Love you Xx.’_

 

Louis meets up with all of their friends for dinner. He eats his fill of greasy pub food until he’s pushing the remains of his chips and the last corner of his burger away with a grimace. They arrive at the club that Niall is playing at around seven-thirty, the inside of it buzzing with anticipation for the upcoming acts.

 

Louis slides into a one of the booths lining the walls with Liam, cackling when Niall wraps them both in crushing hugs along with his guitar which should probably have been left backstage since it’ll be another hour before he goes on. He swings it up to lay right in the middle of their table and places two large beers in front of them as well.

 

“Explain to me where your other half is again and why he’s missing my performance,” Niall demands with an expectant eyebrow raised at him. “He told me some bullshit about having to leave town.”

 

Louis sighs. He knew breaking the news to Niall would be a job.

 

“Er- Yeah, he hopped out of bed at the crack of dawn and headed down to the water with his parents. He felt awful about missing your show, Ni, but they needed help, and you know as well as I do how much he loves being on the water.” Niall nods understandably and Louis grins as he thinks about Harry and how immensely happy he is whenever he’s out there with the wind in his hair and the sun on his skin. The image makes his stomach curl with longing from how much he misses him already. Louis’ out with his friends right now and having a great time, but the desire to be with Harry all the time never really goes away. He doubts that it ever will.

 

“Hey, Ni. You said he told you that he couldn’t make it. When was that exactly?” Louis asks, just now realizing that he never did receive a reply to his two texts.

 

Niall furrows his brow at him as he thinks. “I don’t know? Sometime this morning, I guess. Why?”

 

Louis’ hopes deflate at his friend’s news. “Oh. And you haven’t spoken to him since?” he asks just to be sure. Niall shakes his head in answer. “Liam, when’s the last time you spoke to him?”

 

Liam blinks at Louis’ sudden inquiry. “Uh, he texted me last night…I haven’t talked to him today. I figured we’d catch up tonight.”

 

Louis frowns, feeling worry start to settle in. It’s not like Harry to fall off the grid like that. He’s always present rather it be by phone call, text, or social media post. He loves taking pictures out on the water. Louis finds it odd that he hasn’t done any of those things today.  

 

Looks of concern get aimed Louis’ way once he falls silent. “Lou, what’s wrong? What’s-?” Niall stops talking when Louis’ phone starts vibrating angrily on top of the table.

 

Louis reaches out and quickly flips it over, his pulse returning to normal when he sees a familiar Southampton number illuminated on the screen. Louis breathes a sigh of relief and shakes his head, wondering how on Earth he managed to get himself so worked up over nothing in the span of a few minutes as he accepts the call.

 

“Well, finally! What took you so long, captain?” he purrs, smiling, knowing Harry will have done the same from Louis’ greeting. Louis drops the pet-name act as soon as he hears his mother-in-law’s voice instead of Harry’s gravelly one laughing at his joke.

 

“Louis. It’s me, darling.”

 

Louis takes the phone away from his ear to double check the number. It’s the number from the school just like he thought. The school that should be closed by now if the clock on his phone is anything to go by.

 

“Anne. I’m sorry. I thought you were Harry,” he explains, laughing because he definitely just called her captain. He expects her to chuckle at the misunderstanding, but she gasps and sniffs into the receiver instead, causing Louis’ spine to stiffen. “Anne? Is something wrong? Where’s Harry?” It takes her a few seconds to finally answer him and when she does, Louis wishes he could hang up and start this entire phone call over. Maybe even the entire day.

 

“Louis, sweetheart,” she sniffs. “We don’t know where he is.”

 

Dread fills the pit of Louis’ stomach as soon as the words are out of her mouth. Hearing them is like living every nightmare he’s ever had. “What do you mean?” he asks in a small, scared voice, gaining the attention of everybody around him as they fix him with looks of concern.

 

Anne is only able to hold it together for another second or two before the tears start flowing outright, causing her to choke back sobs. “He had already taken two groups out and returned when a small group of kids came in. There was supposed to be a small storm later in the evening. The sky looked fine still, but there were a few dark clouds so we were going to call off all other outings. The kids were obviously disappointed that they wouldn’t get to go, so Harry-”

 

Louis shuts his eyes, squeezing his phone so hard that his joints ache because he already knows this story. He knows the rest of it without her even having to tell him. Those children were disappointed that they weren’t going to get to go out on the water and Harry, his husband who hates to see anybody upset, especially children, took it upon himself to make sure they had a good day.

 

Louis listens to rest of Anne’s story with bated breath, his whole body frozen to the spot as she explains how the storm rolled in out of nowhere hours before it was expected and how they lost communication with Harry while he got caught right in the middle of it. She finishes and Louis has so many questions. So many things he wants to know, but the one question he’s been holding back the most rips it’s way out of his throat.

 

“Why didn’t someone call me before now?!”

 

Louis didn’t mean to scream at her, but he couldn’t help it. He _knew_ something was wrong. Harry’s never disappeared on him like this before and he fucking knew. He just didn’t want to believe it.

 

“Louis, I’m so sorry,” she cries. “We didn’t want to call you until we were sure something was wrong. You know the radio equipment on that boat goes out sometimes, so that’s not usually a reason to panic, but that was almost two hours ago and there’s still no sign of him anywhere; of _any_ of them,” she says through her sobs. “We called the police and they’re on the way to start a search and rescue. We had to wait until the storm passed, but now we’re all going out to look.”

 

Louis hears her. His ears are receiving the words that his mother-in-law is saying, but they aren’t registering the way that they should be inside of his brain. Harry left this morning. Louis was going to meet him there tomorrow after work. They were going to be together, and now Anne’s telling him what exactly? Louis has no idea. He won’t think about what it is that she’s implying, because he just can’t.

 

“I- I’ll be there as soon as I can,” Louis says, his mouth feeling numb as it pushes the words out. Anne tells him that they’ll keep him updated during his drive down and that he’ll be the first to know if they find anything.

 

_If._

Louis’ ears hang on that word and it sounds so wrong. “Louis, we’re going to find him, love. We’re going to find all of them,” Anne promises, but her broken sniffs into the receiver make her words feel as weightless as a balloon.

 

Louis sees people in his line of vision, feels people pulling on him after he hangs up, but it’s like he’s sedated with all of his senses locked away in a glass box inside of him that no one can access. Liam asks what the hell is going on, but it doesn’t even feel like Louis is speaking when he answers.

 

“Harry’s boat went missing during a storm. He took some kids out on the water and now they can’t find them. They can’t find him. They think- I think that they think he’s-” Louis squeezes his eyes shut, feeling hot tears stinging at the back of them. If he lets even a single tear fall he’s going to lose it and losing it isn’t going to help anybody right now, especially not his husband, so Louis steels himself over and holds them all in.

 

He slides out of the booth on weakened legs, his hands shaking as he clumsily digs his keys out of his pocket. “I-I have to go. We have to go search the area.”

 

“Not by yourself you’re not,” Niall tells him. His friend walks over to someone standing nearby and rattles off something about a family emergency. Louis turns to Liam who is busy collecting all of their things and digging cash out of his wallet to cover the beer they didn’t even get to drink.

 

“You guys don’t have to come with me,” Louis says, just as Niall comes back to hand his guitar off to the man he was just speaking to.

 

“We’re not letting you drive like this, Louis, and you’re not going alone,” Liam says in a final tone.

 

Louis shakes his head when Niall comes back to stand next to him and takes the keys out of his hand.

 

“You two don’t have to do any of this. I can’t ask this of you,” Louis tries.

 

He stops arguing when Niall pulls him into a hug with a soft, “You didn’t.”

 

*

 

The rest of the world starts to infiltrate Louis’ thoughts piece by sluggish piece. At first it’s the gentle roar of the car engine, next it’s the blur of the darkness zooming by on the highway. It’s nice background noise; a nice distraction from the revolving door of horrible thoughts going around and around in Louis’ head.

 

They’ve been in the car for over an hour now without Louis saying a word. He didn’t even speak when Niall couldn’t remember the way to Southampton. He took the GPS and typed it in before settling into the back seat with Liam, the most level headed out of the three of them who offered to call and let Louis’ parents know what’s going on and also Louis’ boss to let him know he won’t be there tomorrow morning. Everything that Louis wants to say about the situation sounds so awful inside of his head that he doesn’t even want to hear what the words would sound like outside of it, so he sits there in silence and dwells on other things. He startles both of his friends when they pass the sign welcoming them to the town that Harry grew up in and Louis finally decides to speak up.

 

“We were going to start a family.” Louis doesn’t miss the pained and confused glances that his friends give each other in the rearview mirror. “We hadn’t said anything to anybody yet, but we were going to.”

 

The eerie silence only takes over for a few seconds before Liam squeezes his arm in comfort. “You’re still going to, Louis,” he says in a sure voice.

 

Niall agrees with him, nodding at Louis in the reflection of the mirror to show his support. “Yeah, Lou. Harry’s going to be fine. You’ll still get to do those things.”

 

Louis feels hot tears building up in his eyes, his throat so incredibly tight as he thinks about how stupid he was. Harry wanted kids over a year ago. Louis did too, but he just didn’t think the timing was right. Harry is partial owner of the boating school with his parents, and they’ve been talking about retiring within the next few years, making Harry the sole owner. Every time Harry would bring up having children, Louis would be there blocking him every step of the way, telling him to wait. ‘ _Let’s just wait another year or two_ ,’ Louis would tell him. Or, ‘ _Let’s wait until you take over the business_.’ Let’s wait is all Louis ever said and now that they’re here, now that Harry is most likely gone forever, Louis can’t understand what the hell they were waiting for. Every reason he had back then seems so stupid now. He wanted to wait until they were settled, he wanted to wait until they were married for more than a year, then he wanted to wait until they could buy a house in Southampton and Harry could take over running the school. Now so much time has passed, so much time has been wasted that it doesn’t matter how settled they are or where they fucking live. None of it matters anymore because Harry isn’t even here.

 

“God, what if…?” Louis shudders as he swallows the words back down. These are the types of toxic thoughts that Louis doesn’t need to give life to. If he doesn’t say them out loud, they feel less real, but only for the time being; only until they turn out to be the truth. God, he hopes that they don’t.

 

“He’s not,” Liam says in answer to his silent question, leaving no room for Louis or anyone else to argue. “I don’t want you thinking things like that, Louis. It’s not good for you. Harry’s going to be fine.” Louis nods once and then stops talking. He shuts up so his mouth doesn’t let any of the other millions of horrific thoughts and scenarios in his head fly out.

 

Niall and Liam exchange worried glances again once Louis resumes looking out the window at the night. Louis closes his eyes to try and find some peace but all he sees is his husband’s smile from this morning.


	2. Chapter 2

The trees are thick where they start down the winding drive towards their destination. The sun set hours ago and the moon is hidden behind thousands of branches that span out like fingers and spindly limbs from the thick trunks growing out of the ground. Things become clearer as they draw close to the end of the trail, the familiar cabin-like building of the school coming into view through the brush.

 

Niall brings the car to a stop right in front of it and drops the keys into Louis’ trembling hand. Louis stares at the cabin and longs for the days when it’s big door and wide windows seemed to welcome him inside. Now it just seems cold and austere with all the people and police officers standing near the doorway and milling around the porch. Liam’s hand reaches out to squeeze his leg in comfort as he continues to stare out the window at a place that holds so many happy memories for him and Harry. Memories from days past that Louis would give anything to be able to return to right now instead of having to be here under these circumstances.

 

Eventually, Louis moves to get out of the car and his two best mates follow right behind him, flanking him on either side as he bravely steps up onto the wooden porch. He lets go of a deep breath before pushing open the door, remembering to step over the raised portion of floorboard as the sweet, familiar scent of cedar and saltwater wash over him just as powerfully as the first time he ever set foot here.

 

~-~

_Louis winced when his foot caught the corner of the surprise board poking up from the floor just after the threshold; the one that he probably should’ve seen coming considering the giant ‘watch your step’ sticker plastered to the front of the door. His misstep sent him spiraling forward at an alarming rate, but thankfully Louis caught himself before actually falling, making him more than grateful for his sudden burst of agility. He thought his quick balance had saved him a world of embarrassment from anyone who might’ve seen, but his little stumble didn’t go unnoticed, not if the sharp gasp from the other side of the room was anything to go by._

_He could feel his cheeks heating up when the boy sitting behind the help desk leaped up out of his seat to rush over to his aid._

_“Oh my God, are you okay?” the boy had frowned. He gripped Louis’ biceps to steady him on his feet even though Louis had caught his balance almost as soon as he’d tripped. “I’m so sorry about that. I keep telling my parents we either need to get that floorboard fixed or we need to make the sign larger. Are – Are you alright?” Louis ducked his head down at his question, mortified that he couldn’t even walk through the bloody door without causing a scene. “Hey. It’s okay,” he whispered when he noticed Louis pointedly avoiding his gaze._

_Louis could sense the boy’s sympathy as he crouched down to try and meet Louis’ eyes. He expected to see pity etched onto his face as well when the boy placed a finger beneath Louis’ chin to force his head up, but all Louis saw instead was light._

_Besides his own embarrassment, Louis hadn’t paid much attention to anything else, which was obviously a huge mistake on his part because the boy currently holding him was definitely somebody worth noticing._

_Louis had always heard stories of people being rendered speechless by beauty, but had never actually experienced it first hand. This boy however; God, this boy. He had the most gorgeous head of ringlets and curls that Louis had ever seen, and his eyes; Louis had never seen a pair so deep and so earnest, the flecks of emerald and gold so radiant as they trailed Louis’ entire face for any sign of him being hurt. The boy’s lips were beautiful too, Louis noticed, seeing as they were his only point of focus when the boy spoke again._

_“Did you hear me? Are you okay?” he whispered. “Are you-?”_

_“Yeah, I’m- I’m fine,” Louis managed to say, his quick interruption briefly startling the boy, but only for a moment before he released a relieved sigh._

_“Oh, thank God. I was getting worried when you hadn’t said anything,” he grinned causing Louis’ eyes to move from his lips to his flushed cheeks where a pair of dimples had suddenly appeared in the direct center of them. The boy’s grin grew to a shy smile when he noticed Louis openly staring at him._

_He dropped Louis’ gaze and let his hands fall away from Louis’s arms when he realized he’d still been holding onto him. He cleared his throat and took a tiny step back to give him some space. Louis felt the loss immediately and really wished that the boy had stayed right where he was._

_“Um, I’m Harry,” the boy had said, reaching out his hand towards Louis again, albeit in a much friendlier manner this time rather than the modern day hero, life-saving kind of way._

_Louis met him half-way, extending his hand forward to grip his, feeling how rough and calloused his hands were, despite his obvious youth. “I’m Louis,” he breathed. They stood there in silence for a few moments until Louis realized he should say something else instead of studying the way Harry’s bottom lip looked where he kept worrying it between his teeth. “Sorry I caused such a commotion.”_

_“You didn’t,” Harry rushed to assure him. “Believe it or not, people trip coming through that door all the time.”_

_“Oh…and do you always run over to their immediate rescue?” Louis smirked, feeling a bit more like himself now that he was able to focus on more than Harry’s face, having noticed the strong pair of shoulders beneath his t-shirt and the adorable way that his feet turned in at the toes._

_Harry breathed a soft laugh at Louis’ question. “Well, people don’t generally trip as awkwardly or as hard as you just did, so no,” he chuckled. He had a laugh that affected is entire body, his nose crinkling and his shoulders shaking at his own joke._

_“Lucky me, then. I would have bitten it for sure if not for you,” Louis told him, and he meant every word._

_Louis was staring again. He knew that he was, but he couldn’t help it. Not when Harry seemed so bashful all of a sudden, the evidence of it laced into every beautiful line of his face as he nervously grinned down at his crooked feet._

_“So, um, what brings you here today, Louis?” Harry asked after their silence had lasted way longer than was probably considered normal._

_“Holiday,” Louis answered absently, happy to once again be holding Harry’s gaze. “Thought I’d try sail boating.”_

_The thick forest of Harry’s irises lightened as he smirked. “Oh, so, I take it you’re less clumsy on water than you are on land, then?”_

_Louis was the one to blush this time, ducking his head as he laughed at the dig. “Alright, Curly, you only get one of those,” he warned. “I’m usually extremely graceful and poised.” Louis rolled his eyes at the way Harry was still laughing at him. He stepped forward to give Harry a playful shove against the chest. “I’m glad that me practically braining myself on the floor is amusing for you, but I was actually quite serious about the sailing. I’d like to try it out.”_

_“Okay,” Harry said after his chuckles subsided. “I can help you out with that. I’ll set you up with an instructor to take you out on the water and you can see what it’s all about,” he suggested._

_Louis’ eyes made a quick assessment of the room they were standing in, raising an eyebrow at how completely empty the place was besides the two of them; one of which was wearing a t-shirt with the word ‘Instructor’ printed on the sleeve._

_“Well, fuck, there’s just so many teachers here for me to choose from,” Louis teased. His stomach fluttered with the laugh Harry barked out, his set of dimples carved so far into his cheeks that Louis had a sudden urge to reach out and run his fingers over them._

_“My parents are out on a tour with a group right now and the rest of the instructors are already out as well, so you can either wait here until one of them gets back, or you can take your chances with me,” he said with an encouraging raise of his eyebrow._

_Harry searched Louis’ face, his eyes full of quiet hope while Louis deliberated and weighed his options._

_“How long did you say until the others get back?’ Louis asked, causing the hopeful light in Harry’s eyes to fade away._

_“Oh,” he sighed. “Um- I’m not too sure. My parents left less than an hour ago and the other instructors have only been gone for about twenty minutes, so it may be a while,” Harry said, his voiced laced with apology and disappointment. Louis nodded seriously as he contemplated._

_“Well, that sounds perfect. I’ll wait,” he beamed, causing Harry’s face to fall even further. Louis only let him mope for a second before letting Harry in on the joke. “I’ll wait here for you to get your stuff so we can go. Let the others stay out as long as they want. I’d much rather you teach me anyway,” Louis explained with an easy shrug._

_Harry grinned, attempting to hide his excitement by biting down on his bottom lip, but Louis could tell that he wanted to take Louis out on the water as much Louis wanted him to be the one to do it._

_“Yeah?” Harry asked disbelievingly. “You don’t mind being stuck with just me all afternoon?”_

_“Nope. Not at all,” Louis smiled back, feeling his stomach flood with butterflies from the way Harry’s entire face lit up from his answer._

_Louis stood in the middle of the room feeling strangely victorious as he watched Harry dart around in preparation for their outing. He took note of how quickly he moved behind the desk to grab a large bag full of equipment before coming back to stand at the front of the room wearing a tiny triumphant smile of his own._

_“After you,” Harry gestured with his hand as he held open the door._

_Louis could feel anticipation and excitement bubbling up inside of him as he stepped back onto the porch. Harry stepped out behind him, flipping around the welcome sign in the window to read ‘Be Back Soon’ before locking the door and throwing his bag over his shoulder._

_“Ready to get your feet wet?” he asked, his smile widening by the second. Louis could only nod as they fell into step together along the trail._

~-~

 

Louis is hit with déjà vu when the cabin door closes behind him and all of a sudden he’s being seized by someone who comes running over from the desk. He nearly stumbles from the force of the embrace, having to steady himself as his mother-in-law buries her face in the crook of his neck.

 

Louis looks around the room at the group of people huddled over a collection of waterway maps at the desk. Every face is lined with worry and exhaustion, including that of his father-in-law who is only able to meet Louis’ eyes for a moment before he sadly hangs his head to return his attention to the search group.

 

“Thank God you’re here,” Anne says, wiping at a few tears that fall when she pulls back to see him. Louis tries to give her a smile just like any other time they see each other, but it’s weak-looking and broken.

 

“Has anything changed since we last talked?” Louis glances around the room again at the mass of people all standing around discussing different rescue plans, knowing in his heart that nothing has changed at all. People and acquaintances from the community spare him looks of sympathy when they notice him watching. Even the group of adults in the corner who could only be the missing children’s parents stop sobbing long enough to give Louis a significant look of understanding when he meets their eyes.

 

Anne’s face crumples as she sadly shakes her head to answer Louis’ question. “We haven’t found anything yet.” Louis swallows hard at that, his chest clenching even though he knew she’d say that. Harry was already missing for nearly two hours before Anne called him. The drive to Southampton is normally two hours long as well. They got here a lot faster than that thanks to Niall, but the amount of time that Harry’s been gone is still too great. Louis glances at his friends by his side who squeeze his shoulders to offer him some reassurance. It doesn’t help; not really, because Louis knows just like his friends, and just like everyone else in this room that the longer Harry and those children are missing, the worse the situation looks.

 

He stands there feeling completely useless until Anne pulls them over to the desk with everyone else. His father-in-law hugs him close when Louis stands next to him, clinging to Louis almost as tight as Anne had just moments before.

 

“We have everybody keeping an eye out for anything out of the ordinary or anything that could be helpful around this part of the channel and along the river,” Robin tells him. He points out the areas that have already been searched on the map and Louis feels the tiny ember of hope he managed to hold onto fizzle out when he sees the large expanse of water and shoreline still left to comb over. Robin must notice the way he’s hardly breathing because his large hand reaches out to squeeze Louis’. “Lou, don’t worry. We’re going to find him. He’s out there,” Robin promises. Louis nods once, because his father-in-law is right. Harry is out there somewhere. That much is true, but it’s the uncertainty of when they’re going to find him and whether or not it’ll be in time that has Louis’ stomach churning in on itself.


	3. Chapter 3

Louis is handed a radio and a bright searchlight with enough reach that Louis can make out the shapes of small pebbles in the gravel at the end of the drive when they all venture back outside. He had been determined to stay with his in-laws during their second search, but Louis felt like too much of a burden for them especially after he threw up as soon as they started walking up the trail. Anne and Robin kept shooting each other worried glances over his head that made him feel guilty, so he decided to leave their group and walk with Liam and Niall instead.

 

The shoreline is calm, displaying no signs of disturbance from the storm. The water looks beautiful with the moon reflecting off of it’s peaceful waves. It’s the kind of sight that Harry would most definitely try and capture in a few dozen photographs, Louis thinks fondly, feeling his heart break.

 

Louis checks ahead of him and sees the distant silhouettes of his friends as they continue walking. Louis lets them get far away from him before taking a seat on a piece of driftwood half-buried in the sand.

 

This night has been so much for Louis to take in from Anne’s initial phone call to the way Louis’ heart lurched when Harry’s family friends hugged him close as if Louis was a direct link to the little curly-headed little boy they all fell in love with and watch grow up. Louis glances down at his wedding band and wonders if he’s actually dreaming. He would very much like to be.

 

He gets lost in his own thoughts as he sits there alone; a cyclone of stupid things that don’t even matter like the fact that his text messages to Harry are still unanswered, or how he didn’t even tell Harry that he loves him this morning before he left because he was sleepy and too busy teasing him to let him know how he felt. He should never have let Harry leave without making sure that he understood exactly how much he means to Louis. He should’ve told Harry he loved him a million times before he walked out of their door.

 

The sound of static coming through over the radio startles Louis out of his thoughts. He stares down at the device with wide, unblinking eyes, hardly even breathing until he hears someone exclaim that they’ve found something. Louis turns up the volume with trembling hands, straining his ears until he can make out a voice saying that they’re headed back to the cabin for the medics standing by.

 

Louis shoots up from his seat with his heart pounding wildly against his chest. Niall and Liam are already running back towards him before Louis can even think to call out to them. Louis clutches Liam’s hand when he’s beside him, his chest feeling like it may burst from the adrenaline coursing through him.

 

“They need the medics,” Louis breathes out, because it was the only thing of importance that he caught from the announcement besides one of the groups finally finding something. Medics tend to the poorly, the sick, and the injured, not the dead. Liam squeezes his hand with cautious eyes like he knows exactly what Louis is thinking.

 

“Let’s just go see what they found. We don’t want to assume anything yet,” he says.

 

Louis nods in agreement, but his feet are already carrying him back to the cabin at full speed.

 

The three of them seem to be one of the last groups to make it back to the cabin as most of their search party is already gathered around the porch, blocking Louis’ view. Louis’ footsteps slow against the gravel as he comes to a stop at the edge of the crowd. Louis goes to barrel through the horde to get through, but he decides against it, noticing that everyone’s attention is focused on the porch. The faces of the few people who have noticed him standing there look relieved by whatever they’re staring at. Some of the people are even wearing thin smiles, but they turn sympathetic and then quickly disappear when they meet Louis’ eyes.

 

His friends notice the way he’s still frozen to the spot and firmly grip his hands in theirs.

 

“I’ll go first,” Niall offers, taking a deep breath to brace himself before gently weaving his way through the mass before them. Louis’ heart is pounding in his throat the entire time he’s gone and it doesn’t ease up until Niall reappears with an expression that Louis can’t really read.

 

“Well?” Liam asks when all Louis can do is hold his breath and pray that it’s good news.

 

Niall fixes his careful gaze on Louis before taking his hand in his again. “…They found the kids, Lou, but- but Harry wasn’t with them.” His friend barely even has the words out of his mouth before Louis is snatching his hand away and pushing through the thick crowd to see for himself. He gets a few sharp looks as he forces his way to the front without apology, but when the wooden porch comes into view, Louis’ drive and determination evaporate into thin air.

 

Louis steps up onto the porch to further examine the scene before him: Three eight-year-olds; two girls and a boy who are trembling from their damp clothing and look terrified as their parents and loved ones cling to them with tears of joy falling from their eyes. Louis’ heart lightens a bit seeing all of the children reunited with their families. He’s genuinely happy to see them all here and alive. He just wishes his husband were among them.

 

During the time it takes for the medics to check after the children and make sure they’re alright, Louis excuses himself to the end of the drive with a cigarette he got from a woman who claims to have known Harry since he was just a little boy. He hasn’t smoked in ages. He quit after he met Harry because deep down Louis knew he didn’t like it. Harry never said anything, and he probably never would have, but Louis gave it up regardless. Each drag Louis takes off of it is laced with his own guilt because usually, he’s better than his cravings; Harry makes him better, but Louis needed something to settle his stomach and this along with the tree he’s leaning against seemed like the perfect escape, if only for a little while.

 

Louis whips around when he hears footsteps approaching him. He squints through the dark until he can make out the form of his father-in-law walking towards him. Robin doesn’t say anything at first when he arrives. He just leans his weight against Louis’ tree and releases a long sigh.

 

“I didn’t know you smoked,” Robin comments. He faces Louis with an outstretched hand when his eyes fall to the cigarette. Louis sighs, feeling ashamed for having his father-in-law see him like this. He takes one final pull off of it before handing it over. He expects for Robin to stub it out, but he brings it up to his lips instead. Robin inhales and closes his eyes like he’s savoring the taste, the ease with which he releases it making Louis grin.

 

“Is nicotine an old friend of yours?” Louis asks.

 

“Oh, yes. From a very long time ago,” Robin smiles before placing it back between Louis’ waiting fingers.

 

“Yeah, me too,” Louis mutters.

 

“Sorry, but I think my long time ago may be a bit longer than your long time ago,” he chuckles. “Where did you even get that? I didn’t think you and Harry had friends who smoke.”

 

Louis continues to pull off of the cigarette until it shrivels down and hits the filter. He flicks it onto the gravel trail and watches the smoke from it dissipate. “Mrs. Holloway saw me losing my shit and gave it to me. She said I looked like I needed it,” he smirks. “I liked her immediately.”

 

“Yeah, Harry does too. He used to help her and her husband out with their boats whenever something went wrong with one of them. He spent half of his summer once helping them replace their deck. He always said that she’s hilarious,” Robin says fondly. Louis turns to look at him watching as his face turns less nostalgic, the weariness returning to his eyes when he glances back at the cabin. “The medics are nearly done. The police are going to talk to the kids in a few minutes. We should be there.”

 

Louis sighs. He knew he couldn’t hide out here forever, but he was kind of secretly hoping that he could. He doesn’t want to go back in there. He doesn’t want to hear the story of how those kids got back without his husband, but he guesses he doesn’t have much choice.

 

“Robin? Am I a horrible person for being jealous of those parents? Resentful even?” he asks quietly. It’s a question that’s been eating at him since those children showed up; one that he wouldn’t dare ask Liam or Niall considering how ecstatic they were to see the children alive and well just like everybody else. Louis is happy for them too, however he can’t help but be a bit envious, as selfish as that may be.

 

Robin shakes his head. “If that makes you a bad person then I’m no better, because I wish I were them too,” he says honestly. Harry isn’t Robin’s biological child, but he has been a part of Harry’s family for years and he loves Harry with his entire heart. Louis doesn’t doubt that he’s jealous of those parents for having their kids safely returned to them. How could he not be?

 

His father-in-law pulls him into a tight embrace that leaves Louis with tears stinging at the back of his throat. Louis forces them away again, refusing to break down now after making it this far.

 

Robin lets him go and clears his throat like maybe he’s experiencing the same sort of teary sensation before firmly squeezing Louis’ shoulder and leading the way back towards the cabin.

 

The room is tense when the detective begins. Louis can feel how nervous the kids are from where he’s tucked between Liam who’s standing by his side on the left and Anne clutching onto his hand like a vice on his right as they slowly tell the room what happened. 

 

It’s not so bad when they start out, each of them explaining how Harry had taken them out for a quick lesson just to show them some basics of sailing because the weather was supposed to be bad later on and they had been looking forward to it. Their recount sounds as ordinary as any other outing that the school offers from it’s instructors. Louis’ chest doesn’t start to ache until they get to the part where the storm rolled in much too quickly for them to get back to shore before it hit. One by one the kids begin to cry as they describe the lightning that had been cracking all around them, and how much the boat was swaying with the rough the winds. Louis feels so sick listening to their story that he feels as though he was on the rolling waves right along with them.

 

Next, the detective asks the kids to explain exactly how they got into the inflatable safety boat that had washed ashore with all of them safely tucked inside. Louis listens on in horror as they describe how a large streak of lightening hit the mast of the boat, splitting the pole right down the middle. Apparently, Harry dug out the emergency inflatable and put the children in it when he realized his sails were destroyed beyond repair. Anne is clutching his hand so hard that Louis is certain that she’s going to break it.

 

“Why didn’t Harry get into the boat with you? Why did he send the three of you off alone?” the detective asks one little girl who isn’t sobbing quite as hard as the other two kids. The blood drains from Louis’ face when she chokes out that Harry wanted to, but he couldn’t fit.

 

*

 

Louis tears his way out of the cabin like it’s on fire with his eyes burning in the same manner when he stumbles down the steps of the porch and hunches over in the gravel, absolutely sick to his stomach. He can’t catch his breath as he sobs on his hands and knees just trying to bring air into his lungs.

 

He didn’t notice anybody following after him when he ran outside, so he doesn’t expect the pair of gentle hands on his skin as someone pulls him over to the grass and holds him close to their chest. Louis hasn’t cried the entire time. He didn’t want Anne and Robin to see him upset like this. He didn’t want to be another source of worry for everyone when they don’t even know if Harry’s alive or not, but he lets himself weep openly now until his throat is so dry that he feels like he may choke. He doesn’t even know who it is that he’s crying on like this until much later when he notices Liam’s scent clinging to the fabric of the t-shirt balled up in his fists.

 

Louis cries until he’s empty and when he sits up he feels dazed like he can’t quite remember how he got to this point. His head is pounding and his throat feels like it’s been coated with sand, but Liam’s quiet presence makes him feel a lot better than he would have being out here all by himself.

 

“Where is everyone?” Louis asks after a while of just sitting and staring down at the grass in complete silence.

 

“Inside. I told them to give you a minute,” Liam answers, his eyes just as red and puffy as Louis’ feel.

 

He didn’t mean to run out of there like that and cause such a scene, but he had just felt so trapped in the hopelessness of what those children were saying that he couldn’t stand being there anymore. Harry knew they were all in danger and got those kids out of the damaged boat and into a safer one. He sacrificed his own safety for them and Louis is so incredibly proud of his husband for being that brave and that good. He just hates it had to come to that.

 

“He loved that boat,” Louis eventually croaks out, feeling his eyes and throat burning again because Louis loved that boat too. Harry’s had it since he was sixteen years old. The paint was chipping off of it in places by the time he and Louis got together and the radio equipment hardly ever worked right anymore due to it’s age, but nothing made Harry happier than spending a day out on the water in it. It was where they’d go to escape the rest of the world. It was where they spent their first afternoon together on the day that they met. It was where they had their first kiss and also where Harry asked Louis to marry him a year and a half later. That boat meant so much to both of them and now it’s probably lying in pieces somewhere at the bottom of the channel.

 

“I know he did,” Liam says with downcast eyes.

 

“It’s destroyed, wherever it is now.”

 

Liam glances up at his defeated tone with furrowed eyebrows. “Harry’s smart, Louis. He’s an amazing, experienced sailor and has been for years. It was a really rough storm and it looks bad; I’m not denying that, but what those kids said in there doesn’t matter in the long run. They don’t know what happened once they floated away from him. None of us do.”

 

Louis closes his eyes to stop the new wave of tears he feels rushing towards them. He wants to believe what Liam is trying to say to him. He wants to have hope and believe that Harry is out there somewhere waiting for him, but it’s hard to feel anything besides his own heart clenching in his chest when he imagines Harry scared and alone.

 

~-~

_Louis paused right at the edge of the deck feeling a slight flurry of nerves wisp through his stomach as he stared down at the dark water beneath him. Harry had thrown all of his equipment into the boat and then threw himself over into it as well with just as much ease. Louis thought he could follow his lead and just climb in, but he was a bit more scared than he thought he’d be. Harry glanced over his shoulder at him and smirked when he noticed Louis’ hesitance._

_“I thought you said you were graceful earlier?”_

_“I am,” Louis scoffed, sticking one leg out over the water to the boat’s edge before snatching it right back onto the deck because a strong gust of wind had widened the gap, making the boat’s name, Blue Swallow perfectly visible._

_“Here, I’ll help,” Harry said, offering Louis his large hand to help him inside. Louis held onto his pride as Harry guided him over the boat’s edge, his chin held high even with Harry’s eyes sparkling with mirth._

_“Thank you,” Louis muttered, feeling only mildly embarrassed that he needed Harry’s assistance._

_“Don’t mention it,” Harry told him as he started untying the knot keeping them tethered to the dock. His eyes briefly met Louis’ curious gaze as he watched on in interest. “So, have you ever been on a boat before, Louis?”_

_“Well, that depends. Do the swan-shaped ones with the peddles on the bottom count?”_

_“Er- I guess so?” Harry answered uncertainly._

_“Then, yes! I’ve been on a boat before,” Louis said confidently, causing Harry to snort a laugh at him._

_“Have you ever been kayaking or canoeing?”_

_“Nope.”_

_“Ever been on a ferry?” Harry tried._

_“Mmm, not that I can remember, no,” Louis shrugged._

_Harry frowned at his lack of experience in half amusement and half disbelief. “Wait. You can swim, can’t you?” he asked dubiously._

_“Shit,” Louis winced. “No? Is that bad?” Louis asked just as the boat began drifting away from the dock and into open water._

_“Well, it’s not exactly ideal,” Harry told him, now looking a bit more serious as he started digging around for a life vest._

_“Oh, well, I actually can swim, so I guess we’re okay. No worries,” Louis smirked. Harry threw his head back and laughed until his cheeks turned a beautiful rosy pink._

_“Am I going to regret bringing you out here?” he asked, his smile still pulled tight across his face._

_“I’ll admit that I can be a handful, but I’m willing to behave for you,” Louis told him, enjoying the way Harry blushed from his words before turning his attention to the sails._

_“Alright. I’m going to just talk about basics with you today. By the end of the lesson you should have some sort of understanding of sailboat anatomy and operation, but only if you’re listening very carefully and applying yourself,” he said with a stern eyebrow raised at him._

_“Oh, of course. Aye, aye, Captain,” Louis saluted him._

_“Cute, but I’m not a captain. This isn’t a ship,” Harry laughed._

_“Oh. Well, aye, aye, matey then,” Louis amended, making Harry roll his eyes._

_“That’s not even a real thing,” he said. “That’s for pirates.”_

_“Maybe,” Louis grinned, “but it was still cute though, wasn’t it?”_

_Harry’s stubborn little smile was all Louis needed to know that it was._

_For the next hour Louis got the show of his life, watching as Harry moved around the boat to steer them. His body was amazing; Louis noticed that as soon as they met, and now he knew why he was in such good shape after watching him in action for so long. He told Louis exactly what he was doing and why with every move that he made, and Louis meant to listen to him, really he did, but all of that useful information was going in one ear and straight out of the other with how committed Louis was to watching Harry’s hair and shirt blowing in the wind._

_“What section of the boat are you sitting on?” Harry asked after he caught Louis staring at the sliver of skin visible from his shirt riding up._

_“Er- the flat, seated end?” Louis answered, knowing as soon as he said it that it wasn’t right. Harry gave him a look of reprimand followed by a look of encouragement that had Louis combing his memory for what Harry had told him. “Is it the stern?” he tried, sighing in relief when Harry gave him a big smile of approval._

_“That’s right! And which part am I near?” he asked._

_Louis begged his brain to cooperate and say the right thing. “The starboard side. No! Wait, fuck. The port side, maybe?” Harry shook his head, causing Louis to huff out of frustration with himself. Harry was standing up there near the sails talking about that section of the boat when Louis was staring at his lips as he talked. He had thought it was funny when Harry said he was standing at the bow because Louis really thought he should take one from how fucking gorgeous his biceps were where he’d rolled up the sleeves of his shirt. “The bow!” Louis exclaimed with full confidence. He smirked at Harry, smug because he had assumed that Louis hadn’t been paying attention. And, he hadn’t been of course; he was focused on other things, but Harry didn’t have to know that._

_“See, I knew you could do it. Brains and beauty,” Harry grinned, causing Louis’ smirk to widen._

_Louis had to collect himself enough to make his cheeks return back to their normal color before meeting Harry’s eyes again._

_“Okay, Curly. Now teach me all about the sails so you can quiz me again and I can show off,” Louis ordered, delighting in the fact that Harry just smiled at his demand before easily complying._


	4. Chapter 4

Louis had felt like the whole world had come crashing down on his sternum after having to listen to what happened to Harry and those kids during the storm. It was a hard pill to swallow, finding out that Harry chose the safety and well-being of others over his own, but honestly, what did Louis expect? This was Harry they were talking about here.

 

Thankfully, Liam kept Louis company until he was able to breathe again, sitting quietly with Louis on the damp grass while he got himself and his thoughts together. He still felt like shit; exhausted and completely overwhelmed by the entire night, but Louis had calmed a considerable amount by the time Niall peeked his head out of the door to check on him. He tiptoed outside with bloodshot eyes and a heavy expression to let him and Liam know that everyone was ready to regroup and head back out for another attempt.

 

They all congregate inside the cabin, standing over the waterway maps again in order to form their next plan of action for figuring out where Harry could be. Louis had assumed that the children and their families would be long gone by now since their troubles are pretty much over, but every one of them insists on staying, vowing their assistance until Harry is safely returned as well. Louis is all for any help that they can get, as well as making a new plan since their last efforts didn’t get them very far with finding his husband, however, as soon as the conversation starts up it becomes clear that the room is filled with a lot of different people and that everyone has different ideas and opinions about what needs to be done in order to get results. The group spends more time arguing and debating over where they should look for Harry rather than actually following through with any of the suggestions and it causes Louis’ chest to tighten because they’re wasting so much precious time.

 

Several good ideas are thrown out, but the search group has a hard time agreeing on which one would be the most effective. The room gets heated once the detective in charge turns his nose up at Anne’s idea to search near the Southampton Port, claiming that even if her son’s boat wasn’t severely damaged, it’s very unlikely for him to have drifted that far, and that a more experienced sailor would’ve headed straight for the shore rather than trying to dock.

 

The detective, however helpful he has been tonight, has also made Louis and a few other people in the room want to punch him in the face on more than one occasion for his superior tone. It takes all of the self-control that Louis has as well as Liam and Niall holding him in place by their sides to stay quiet and not tell the detective to go fuck himself.

 

Louis stays for as long as he can, but after a while, the constant theoretical discussions are too much for him to digest. Louis quietly lets Robin and Anne know that he’s leaving, informing them that he’s going to go get a head start on looking for Harry before locating his searchlight and radio and strolling right out of the front door in the middle of everyone bickering about what they should do.

 

His steps come hard and at a swift pace as he storms up the gravel drive alone; well, he heard Liam and Niall rushing around to gather their things and then follow after him, so he’s not _actually_ out here all by himself, but his friends are giving him the space that he so desperately needs right now by hanging back far enough that Louis feels like he’s alone.

 

He begins his walk along the shoreline once he gets to the edge of the drive, going left this time instead of right like before and keeps up his pace, still angry at that detective for implying that his husband is anything other than a responsible sailor.

 

Harry has been doing this since he was a kid and has been sailing that particular sailboat since he was sixteen years old. He has always done everything by the book in terms of protocol to keep himself and all of his passengers safe. Those kids showing up unharmed in that life boat without him should be proof enough for everybody in that room to know the kind of man that Louis married. That ignorant fucking detective and all of his loud opinions included.

 

~-~

_What should have technically been a fifty-minute lesson to teach Louis basics had quickly grown to a tour of over two hours filled with Harry steering them over the soft waves while simultaneously trying to pour every bit of knowledge he possessed about sailing into Louis’ brain. Louis listened as best as he could with the majority of his attention on Harry’s smile and how unbelievably light his eyes became when he looked out over the water. Louis was certain that his brain had only absorbed about an eighth of everything Harry was telling him, and he ended up looking like an idiot nearly every time Harry quizzed him on something, but Louis had also never laughed more than he had all afternoon or had so much fun simply being in someone else’s presence._

_Louis looked over from where he was just admiring the horizon line and instantly felt the corners of his lips pulling up when he noticed Harry leaned back and staring at him with a wistful grin on his lips._

_“Yes, Harold?” he asked causing Harry to laugh and fondly roll his eyes at him._

_“We’ve been over this. That’s not my name,” Harry chided._

_“Oh, yes, Harold. How could I forget? I’m supposed to refer to you as matey while we’re out here. My mistake,” Louis shrugged. Harry’s reaction was a wonderful one to watch as it had been every other time Harry had thrown his head back to cackle at Louis, his green eyes crinkling up along with his nose like he’d never been so entertained by someone before. His laugh created a sensational mixture of pride and butterflies inside of Louis’ stomach that seemed to erupt at the most unexpected times._

_“I’m going to get you back for calling me that, you know,” Harry threatened, though his promise lost any of the heat it was meant to hold due to the large smile he was sporting. Harry had opened his mouth to say something else to Louis, probably to quiz him on what the largest sail attached to the mast was called (Louis had no fucking clue) or to shake his head at Louis for precariously leaning over the edge of the boat earlier to let his fingers skim over the surface of the water. Whatever Harry was about to say however got interrupted by the sound of the boat’s radio crackling to life with static and what Louis could only presume to be the voice of Harry’s mother._

_“Harry? Harry, can you hear me?”_

_Harry gestured for Louis to come take over at the rudder so he could answer her, causing Louis’ eyes to grow wide with panic as he quickly shook his head in a giant and definite ‘hell no’. Harry snorted a laugh at him before stretching his hand out towards Louis for him to hand him the radio instead. Louis quickly and carefully got up and moved to hand it to him and then sat back down with as much poise as he could muster, his cheeks feeling warm from the way Harry’s eyes had followed him the entire time._

_“Yeah, Mum. I’m here,” Harry answered once he was able to tear his gaze away from Louis._

_“Finally. We’ve been trying to get through to you for the last half hour, but your radio must’ve been acting up again. You’ve been gone a while. Where are you, love?”_

_“Er- I’m not too far away,” Harry said which Louis knew to be a complete and utter lie because Harry told him that they were further out than he usually took first time students._

_“Great! We’ll be on the lookout for you in a few minutes then. We’re going to go ahead and start closing up in the meantime,” his mother told him._

_“Um, yeah. Okay, Mum. Er- I’ll be back really soon. See you in a bit,” Harry said, his radiant eyes guiltily turning in Louis’ direction as soon as the static of the radio cut out._

_Louis twisted his body to look out over the water in the direction from which they came. He raised a chastising eyebrow at Harry because they haven’t seen the shore in over an hour. “Not too far away, huh?” he laughed._

_“Quiet, you,” Harry grinned, biting down on his bottom lip, but only looking mildly apologetic for lying through his bloody teeth. He did make a promise to his mother though, so he stood up and immediately began working with the sails until the boat began floating in the opposite direction. “See. Now we’ll be back in no time at all,” Harry announced once their course was set._

_Louis couldn’t tell if he was imagining the way Harry’s expression had looked slightly crestfallen as they began their journey back._

_Louis stayed still and seated when they arrived so Harry could concentrate on tying the boat to the dock. He extended his large hand towards Louis with kind eyes, silently asking if he needed help getting onto the deck. By now, Louis was pretty sure that he could make it out of the boat on his own without falling face-first into the water, but he enjoyed the feeling of Harry’s skin against his whenever he got the chance, so he quickly accepted Harry’s offer and allowed his strong arms to hoist him up._

_Louis had felt just fine sitting in the boat, but as soon as Harry let go, he noticed how extremely wobbly-feeling his legs had become. He took one step forward and nearly stumbled backwards into the water from how unbalanced he felt. He thought he was a goner for sure, fully expecting to be submerged in the cold waves, but a strong pair of hands caught him and righted him again before he could fall._

_“Whoa, there. Feeling dizzy?” Harry used his deft fingers to remove Louis’ fringe from where it had fallen into his face, gently pushing it back where it belonged. “Hey. Are you alright?” Harry asked in a softer tone. Louis’ eyes had fluttered closed at Harry’s gentle touch. When Louis blinked them open again, it was to an expression of genuine concern and pair of emerald eyes that refused to break away from Louis’ blue ones._

_“Yeah,” he breathed. “I’m okay. I just lost my balance for a moment.”_

_Harry was so close to him that Louis could make out every one of his long eyelashes when the corner of his eyes crinkled up with a smile. “Good. I’m sorry. I should’ve warned you about the dizziness, especially since it was your first time on a real boat.”_

_“It’s alright. I feel much better already,” Louis assured him. “I guess I need more practice being on the water for longer than a ten-minute boat ride in a wooden swan,” he laughed, the sound seeming to pull Harry out of the haze he’d been in while watching Louis speak. Harry carefully removed his hands from around his arms, raising his eyebrows in silent approval when Louis didn’t sway at all._

_“See, look at you,” Harry smiled softy. “With practice, you’ll be a sailor before you know it.” Louis followed after Harry when he started walking back towards the cabin, his stomach fluttering wildly from Harry’s praise._

_The walk back wasn’t nearly long enough for Louis, but the almost regretful look that Harry fixed him with at the end of it was enough to let Louis know that he wasn’t alone in feeling that way._

_“So, I guess this is it then?” Louis shrugged with a sad sort of grin. It made no sense for him to be this disappointed about leaving, and yet somehow he was. “Thanks for taking me out today, Harry.” Louis dug into his back pocket for his wallet to pay him for his time, but before he could give Harry the money his large hands closed over Louis’ smaller ones to stop him._

_“Don’t. You keep it.”_

_“Harry, no.” Louis argued. “You wasted your entire afternoon putting up with me when you didn’t even have to.”_

_“I wanted to,” he insisted in a soft voice._

_And, oh. That changes things, Louis guesses._

_“Um. Okay, then. I’ll uh- just-” Louis floundered as he put his wallet away. “Thank you, Harry,” Louis tried instead since Harry wasn’t going to let him pay. “I had a great time.” He reached out to shake Harry’s hand, but when Harry met him half-way, he merely held onto Louis’ hand like he didn’t quite want to let it go._

_“Me too,” Harry said, offering him a grin and a small wave goodbye when Louis forced himself to let go and turn and walk back to his car. It felt all wrong was the thing. From the moment that Louis went hurtling through the door of the cabin and into Harry’s arms he felt this huge sense of excitement and anticipation. He didn’t know exactly what he was hoping for today, but feeling as though he were leaving everything behind was not what he had in mind._

_Louis had just taken a few steps away, his feet crunching on the gravel drive when Harry’s voice stopped him._

_“You know… if you really are interested in getting in more practice on the water, I’m going to be taking the boat out this evening. You may have other plans with this being your big holiday from work and all, but, I’ll be here all the same. Just before sunset,” Harry hinted with an falsely indifferent shrug of his shoulders that had Louis fighting to hide his grin._

_“Oh, really?” Louis inquired. “That sounds like it could be nice.”_

_“Yeah, it is,” Harry grinned. “The sky is amazing at dusk. It’s beautiful. But, like I said, you don’t have to come if you don’t want to. I mean, I’ll definitely be here,” he not-so-subtly reminded Louis again, “But it’s up to you.”_

_The urge to smile was too great to stamp down on, so Louis let his spread across his face, big and bright so Harry could see it._

_“Well, I don’t know if I can squeeze something as amazing as a sunset boat ride into my busy schedule, but I’ll try my best to stop by,” Louis told him, and in that moment, the light in Harry’s eyes was the brightest that Louis had ever seen it._

_“Well, hopefully I’ll see you later then,” Harry said as Louis turned away to continue walking down the gravel drive. Louis hadn’t exactly swore that he was going to show up, but they both knew that it was more than likely._

_“Yeah, maybe,” Louis grinned over his shoulder at him. He practically floated the rest of the way back to his car._


	5. Chapter 5

Louis has no idea how long he’s been walking or when he started tearing up again, but the pressure he now feels weighing down on his chest is enough to make him feel breathless in the warm, humid air closing in around him. 

 

He hasn’t really been paying attention to where he’s going, his feet carrying him so far away from the cabin that the tiny shells and beach pebbles have transformed into the rough and rocky terrain of the tiny cove that Harry has only taken him to a handful of times. No one has been down this far yet, the shoreline still completely smooth and undisturbed by the high volume of footprints that mar the rest of the shore. The water is calmer here. It always has been, like some sort of oasis whenever people need it the most, and Louis definitely needs it tonight.

 

He kicks at some of the larger stones half-wedged into the sand, dislodging them for no other reason than to distract himself from how much this place means to him. How he used to dream about it’s beauty even long after he and Harry got together. How the cove and all it’s charm had been so good to him and Harry all of those years ago when they met, but it’s not like that anymore. Nothing feels the same as Louis’ eyes scan the surface of the water and he feels only heartache. It makes him sick to his stomach for this place to evoke such negativity, because it holds so many fond memories for them. This used to be Louis’ favorite place in the entire world.

 

~-~ 

_“Hey there, sailor,” Louis said to Harry’s back as he stepped up onto the deck. Harry stood from where he was throwing his equipment into his bag, a happy, relieved smile on his face when he met Louis’ eyes._

_“You came back.” The awe and sentiment in his voice made Louis’ heart beat in a strange, happy rhythm._

_“You offered me another free boat ride, mate. I wasn’t exactly going to turn that down,” Louis teased. Harry didn’t say anything. He just continued to stare at Louis like he was some sort of vision standing in front of him, all of the attention paired with Harry’s gaze making Louis blush. “Of course I came back,” Louis whispered eventually. He’d would have been an idiot if he hadn’t._

_Louis had expected for Harry to say something in response to that, but all he did was smile, his dimples carved so deep into his cheeks that Louis’ urge to run his fingers over them had returned at full force._

_“Are you ready to go?” Harry asked excitedly after he’d slung his bag over his broad shoulders._

_Louis nodded and followed along behind him, watching as Harry gracefully climbed over into the boat and held out his hand to help Louis in. Louis copied Harry’s practiced movements, only staggering a little bit this time instead of nearly drowning himself when he bypassed Harry’s outstretched hand and stepped into the boat on his own._

_Harry drew his hand back by his side, a look of approval etched into his features as he watched Louis settle down. “Trying to impress me, Lou?” he grinned._

_“Depends. Is it working?” Louis smiled back._

_Harry bit at his lip trying to disguise the fact that he was smiling like a fool. “More than you realize,” Harry said before moving to untie them from the deck._

_Harry was right about being out on the water at dusk. The sky was magnificent during that time, just before night started creeping in. The colors of sunset were such a fitting backdrop for the soft-spoken man who kept grinning over his shoulder at Louis as he worked to adjust their sails. Louis didn’t know how long they had been out on the water and he didn’t particularly care to know, plenty satisfied with just being in Harry’s company for another long stretch of time._

_The moon was shining brightly by the time they’d made it to their destination. Some little rocky corner of the coastline that had Harry’s eyes lighting up just from being near it._

_“What is this place?” Louis asked him, eager to know why Harry had been so secretive earlier when Louis asked where they were going._

_“It’s a cove that I came across when I was younger. I found it by accident. I had gotten just a bit off-course, obviously.” Louis scoffed, thinking about the distance they traveled in order to get there. A tad bit lost sounds more like it._

_“Yeah, obviously,” he smirked. Louis turned away from him to admire the tall trees growing in the woods behind the shore and the way they stretched up to the midnight sky._

_“So, am I special or do you bring all of your star pupils here?” Louis teased._

_He had meant it as a joke. Louis thought he’d get at least a soft chuckle for his efforts, but Harry didn’t laugh. He didn’t even crack a smile, now regarding Louis and speaking like he was the only person in the world._

_“No. No one else,” Harry said. “Only you, Louis,” he whispered a second later._

_Louis ducked his head, feeling like all the air in his lungs had just been sucked out by Harry’s last words. He gave a nervous smile, unsure if Harry meant them in the way that Louis took them, because there was never a question of whether or not Louis was going to come back here. Not really. Even if Harry hadn’t asked him to come along tonight Louis would’ve been back the next day anyway, tripping all over himself in that dumb cabin again just for another chance to see him._

_Louis raised his head enough to meet Harry’s eyes where he was sitting much too far away on the other side of the boat that Louis couldn’t begin to remember the bloody name of. He watched as Harry stood up and made his way over. He took a seat right next to Louis, bringing them closer than they’d sat all day. The air was cooler now that it was nighttime, but Louis’ skin flushed with the heat emanating from every inch of Harry that was now touching him. Louis didn’t have much time to deliberate and overanalyze whether or not Harry’s sudden need to be near him was leading to where Louis was hoping, because within seconds Harry’s large hand had come up to gently cup Louis’ cheek._

_The palms of Harry’s hands looked rough earlier when Louis had taken an interest in them, but the pads of his fingers were so soft with the way they traced along his bottom lip and pushed into the hair at the nape of his neck._

_Louis’ eyelids fluttered closed, bracing himself for what was finally about to come when Harry paused, hesitating like he was uncertain of whether or not Louis wanted this. This was literally all Louis had thought about for the past twelve hours._

_“If you don’t kiss me right now after the day we’ve had together I’m going to push you off this boat,” Louis mumbled, opening his eyes to watch Harry’s full lips turn up into a grin._

_“No, you wouldn’t. Then you wouldn’t be able to get back,” he chuckled, letting his blunt nails lightly scratch against Louis’ scalp. It felt heavenly._

_“Don’t kiss me right now and see just how fast your arse ends up in the water.” Louis’ threat goes unchallenged because right when he was about to whine some more Harry’s grip tightened in his hair and their lips finally met._

_Every soft graze of Harry’s tongue sent goose bumps racing down the length of his arms and legs as if his mouth were pushing bolts of lighting right through him. Louis pressed in closer to him to chase the warmth and feeling of him. His fingers had just come up to knot in Harry’s hair when Harry began to pull back from him. It wasn’t a sharp break away. Harry let himself linger in front of him for a few moments, his warmth and the scent of him just within Louis’ reach, but not close enough to actually obtain._

_“See,” Harry grinned. “I’ve kissed you now, so you won’t even have to push me off the boat.”_

_Louis opened his eyes to fix him with a flat look. “Yet,” he said with a light tug on a few of Harry’s beautiful curls, making Harry’s eyes flutter closed for a change. Good._

 

_Louis’ eyes were trained right on the pair of grinning lips in front of him. He started leaning in for another taste without a second thought, just wanting to feel Harry’s lips against his again. God, Harry lips. He managed to pause right before their mouths connected just to be sure he was technically allowed. “Can I?” he asked, certain that he’d cry if for some reason Harry said no._

_“I’ll push you overboard if you don’t,” Harry said, grinning against Louis when their lips finally met._

~-~

 

 

The beautiful waves that Louis once admired for their peacefulness and the bright spark of magic they had ignited between him and Harry the night that they met now only makes Louis angry because the same waters that brought them together have now betrayed the one person that Louis loves most in this world.

 

Louis tears off at a faster pace than before, his eyes and throat stinging with unshed tears at how fucked up this all is. He doesn’t know how he ended up here of all places, in the one fucking place on Earth that makes Louis feel like he’s suffocating because this time, Harry isn’t here with him. He wants his husband back; the one who makes him laugh even when he’s determined not to because he had a shit day at work. The same one who cleans the bathroom and does the dishes for him even though they both know that it’s technically Louis’ turn, and the one who licks his hand when Louis tries to stop him from talking during movies and then laughs because he knows Louis has a thing about saliva germs in their popcorn. He wants the Harry who loves sailing more than anything else and who wants to raise a family with Louis full of kids who love the water just as much as him. There are so many different versions of his husband that Louis wants, but in this moment Louis would settle for just Harry. The simplest form of him, unharmed, okay, and safe rather than wherever the hell he is right now where Louis doesn’t even know if he’s alive.

 

Louis’ searchlight has been pretty much useless this whole time, only flashes of it’s beam bouncing along the ground before him along with the faint glow of his friends’ lights where they’re still trailing behind him at a distance far enough away to give him the illusion of solitude. Louis hasn’t necessarily needed his light before now. He didn’t even want to acknowledge where he’d ended up when he realized he was at the cove let alone examine the different aspects of it, but something up ahead catches his attention. Louis aims his light at it, catching the fine grain of something much too large and smooth to be a piece of drift wood. Louis’ footsteps slow as his eyes try find a shape in the heap of rubble washed up on the sand. Louis feels all the blood drain from his face when he’s able to make out the familiar arch of the hull of Harry’s boat.

 

His legs go weak when he realizes what he’s stumbled upon, but they propel him forward at full speed, his heart caught in his throat when he notices how much of the boat is missing with only the last four letters of it’s name, _Blue Swallow_ , visible where the piece of the hull is twisted up in the sails. Louis reaches out with trembling hands to pull the debris from the rocks, nearly choking on the sharp breath he takes when he uncovers his husband lying pale and motionless in the sand underneath.

 

Louis seizes for him immediately, Harry’s skin cold and wet beneath his fingers as he tries for a pulse along the side of his neck. Louis’ shaking and his own pulse is pounding much too loud in his ears to know if Harry has one or not, so Louis moves to press his ear against his husband’s chest instead.

 

He goes completely still listening for any sign of life that Harry might offer him; a shallow breath or even the familiar thump of his heartbeat, but Harry gives him something even better, hacking out a spluttering cough after the shallow breath he takes. Tears of relief spring up to Louis’ eyes so quickly that he has to blink to see past them as he scrambles to hold his husband’s head in his lap to help him breathe. “Haz! Baby, can you hear me?” he asks.

 

Harry’s eyes have difficulty focusing when he cracks them open, but eventually they land on Louis’ face. His gaze goes weak and distant before he turns his head to the side to choke out another painful-sounding cough. Louis holds him through the way his whole body shakes with the force of it.

 

“ _Lou,”_ Harry cries sounding so scared that Louis feels his heart breaking. Louis can tell that it hurt him to say it and that it was barely even audible, but it was Harry’s voice and Louis thought he’d never hear it again. He holds Harry tighter, pulling him further up his lap to try and stop the way he’s shaking so violently.

 

“Shhh. I’m here. I’m right here,” Louis promises him even though he’s not sure how much good it does. He reaches for his radio to call for help, but his hands are wet from Harry’s clothes and hair and Louis’ fingers aren’t doing what he wants them to do. He can’t get the buttons to work and he has no clue of how to alert everyone that Harry is alright, so he does the only other thing he can think of and yells at the top of his lungs for Liam and Niall, hoping that he didn’t run so far ahead of them earlier that they won’t be able to hear.

 

Harry’s breath catches in his throat again, prompting Louis to try and sit him up straighter, but Harry cries out in pain when Louis’ hand brushes over his ribs. Thick tears streak down his husband’s cheeks and Louis can’t hold his own back any longer, letting them fall in hot streams down his face when Harry chokes out his name again even though his throat sounds like pure hell. Louis bends to press a kiss to his forehead. “I’m right here, baby. I’ve got you,” he cries just as he hears his friends’ heavy footsteps and sees the beams from their searchlights bouncing down the shoreline towards them.


	6. Chapter 6

~H~

Something warm and light keeps touching Harry’s face. He turns his head away from whatever it is, but then the feeling moves down to his forearm and then to his hand, encasing it in a way that’s so familiar and warm that Harry forces his heavy eyes open to see what it is that’s holding him.

 

The light hurts and it’s coming from everywhere like a thousand suns shining right in his face. His eyes take a few seconds to adjust and when they do, he notices that he’s inside somewhere, probably in a hospital room from the large lights shining down on him and the sunlight streaming through the large window on his left. It’s like a glowing halo cast around the shape of the person sitting at his bedside. The person who he quickly realizes is his husband once his eyes focus on his face.

 

“Haz?” Louis’ grip tightens around Harry’s hand as he scoots closer to him. Harry tries to answer him, but nothing but air comes out of his dry throat when he tries. He doesn’t remember much about the last time he was awake except one minute he was cold and scared, and then the next he was being held in Louis’ arms where he’d washed up on the rocks. Harry had assumed it was either a hallucination or something a lot more permanent. He remembers seeing his mother some time later. He felt her sobbing against him and saying how much she loved him before he drifted out of consciousness again. He didn’t think any of it was real. He had been alone and shivering for so long that he was certain his time here was nearly up, but right now he’s awake. By some miracle, he’s still alive and his husband is right here beside him, as beautiful as ever even with the steady stream of tears falling from his blue eyes.

 

Harry squeezes his hand to comfort him, to let Louis know that he’s alright, causing the dam to burst right before his eyes as Louis drops his head and cries harder than Harry has ever heard. It pains him to know that he scared everyone this much. That Louis is falling apart at his side because he thought he had lost Harry forever. It turns Harry’s stomach and makes his chest tighten around his heart because for a moment, he thought he’d lost them too.

 

Harry tugs on his hand, pulling his husband’s arm close to his chest and then over it in a silent request to have him closer. Louis doesn’t hesitate before pushing his chair away to climb up on the bed and curl into his side. He gently rests his head on Harry’s chest and the action sends a sharp pain shooting beneath his ribcage, but Harry endures it, holding onto Louis with every bit of strength he has left in his arms. “I’m so sorry,” Harry rasps out when his throat gets so tight that he can no longer hold back his own tears. Louis’ grip tightens around him, his sobs of relief only coming harder from Harry’s words.

 

*

 

They’re able to leave the hospital a few days later with strict instructions for Harry to rest and let his bruised ribs heal. Louis looks almost as happy to hear that as Harry feels about it. He turns to Harry once the doctor leaves sporting the kind of smile that Harry has missed seeing on his face.

 

“We get to go home, babe!” Harry pulls his lips up into a grin and melts against Louis when he leans over to kiss him in celebration. He pulls back with his sunny smile still perfectly intact. “Thank, God. I’ve missed our bed so much,” Louis says as he takes his seat again, his eyes still shining from the good news.

 

“I’ve missed it too. This one isn’t nearly as soft as ours.”

 

“Or as big,” Louis adds. “I can hardly fit my arse into this one.”

 

“That’s because it’s supposed to only hold _mine_ ,” Harry tells him even though the nurses have been telling Louis the same thing the whole time they’ve had to stay here. Harry didn’t bother telling them that they were wasting their breath by doing so.

 

Louis fondly rolls his eyes at him. “Are you really complaining about sharing right now?” he asks with a knowing, smug expression. And, no. Harry isn’t complaining at all about Louis crawling into his tiny hospital bed each night. He never would’ve been able to get to sleep if he hadn’t. Nights have been hard for Harry because every time he shuts his eyes he sees black waters and feels the slam of angry waves as if he were still out there being tossed around in them. Louis lovingly carding through his hair every night until the panic and fear passes is the only thing that has allowed him to get any rest at all.

 

“Of course not, love,” Harry answers eventually. “You know I can never get any sleep without you snoring in my ear.”

 

Any other time, a line like that would earn Harry a hard pinch to the side or at least a slap on the bum, but Louis doesn’t do either this time as he smiles, his eyes shining with nothing but pure admiration.

 

“I love you so much,” he whispers, bringing Harry’s hand up to lips to press a couple of kisses along his knuckles. Lately, Louis has taken the time to say those words more often than Harry can keep track of. Everybody has been, really; always looking straight into Harry’s eyes to let him know exactly how much he means to them. Louis loves him more than anything. He always has and he always will. That’s why it hurts Harry’s heart, realizing that his husband didn’t think that he knew it all along.

 

“I love you too, Louis,” Harry whispers, hoping he understands just how much.

 

Louis squeezes his hand with his soft gaze aimed right at him. “I know you do, love,” he grins. “I also know for a fact that I do not nor have I ever snored.” Harry laughs at Louis and the same lie that he’s been telling for six years. It’s such a good, familiar feeling that Harry doesn’t even mind the sharp sting he feels beneath his ribs because of it.

 

*

 

They get to leave a couple of hours later. Harry thanks the nurses and his doctor for taking care of him before walking out of the hospital and sliding in on the passenger’s side of Louis’ car.

 

The trip back home is very surreal mostly because almost everything about it is backwards. Usually, they travel together and they take Harry’s car because he enjoys driving long distances while Louis enjoys messing with the radio and pretending like he’s not sleeping against the window. Liam and Niall drove Harry’s car back days ago and Harry’s still supposed to be taking it easy due to his ribs, so today his only job is to sit back, relax, and breathe while Louis gets them back home.

 

Harry’s tired by the time they arrive after forcing himself to stay awake through the entire drive even though his pain medication had him dropping off in his seat. Louis puts the car in park and comes around to get Harry’s bag and help him out of the car, taking extra care not to hurt Harry in the process.

 

“I’ll fix us something really quick to eat when we get in so you can go and have a rest, okay?” Louis says as he fiddles with the lock and his key. That sounds like a good plan to Harry. He’s starving after spending so much time eating the food from the hospital, and he’s also exhausted so a lie down might be just the thing that he needs.

 

The lock finally turns and Louis holds the door open for him. Harry walks in, ready to make a beeline straight for the couch, but he freezes right where he’s standing when he sees the huge display before him. His eyes scan the room, taking notice of the large bouquets of flowers and balloons of different colors dispersed all around it. They cover almost every piece of furniture that he and Louis own, some of the flowers even laid out on the couch and along the floor because they couldn’t fit anywhere else. Harry turns to Louis to ask where this all came from when he notices a little banner hanging on the wall that reads ‘ _Welcome Home, Harry_.’

 

“Oh, yeah,” Louis grins when he sees the look of confusion that Harry can feel growing on his face. “I almost forgot all about this. Apparently, people started sending flowers and things for you while we were in Southampton. Liam and Niall said everything was piling up outside against the door when they came to drop off your car, so I told them to bring everything in here. I was going to tell you about it, but then I thought you might like the surprise of seeing it all for yourself,” he explains.

 

“Oh,” he answers. And Louis is right about one thing, because Harry is definitely surprised.

 

Harry stares at the room full offerings and gifts with little cards attached to them and wonders who all of these people are that went out of their way to do this. Harry couldn’t possibly know even half of them. He picks up one of the envelops. A white one with his name scrawled across it in messy handwriting. It looks like a child wrote it, and his guess ends up being completely accurate when he reads the note sent from one of the little girls from the storm, thanking him for saving her life and for being her hero.

 

Louis reads it too where he’s standing at his side, grinning against his arm. “Aww. That was sweet of her to write to you.”

 

“Yeah,” Harry quickly nods. He folds the note down and puts it back where he got it from. Right beside of a vase full of red roses that her parents must have picked out. “It was really thoughtful of her. Of everyone,” Harry amends, looking around the room. He didn’t realize so many people were aware of what happened.

 

“Everyone’s so proud of you and I am too, love.” Louis leans up to press a kiss to his cheek as proof and Harry can see the love radiating from the depths of his eyes when he steps back again.

 

Harry takes a few more steps inside of the house but decides against his original plan of setting up camp on the couch. It’s not like he could really fit on it anyway with the garden of bouquets that seem to be growing out of it, and plus, he doesn’t really feel well all of a sudden.

 

“Hey, Lou. I- um, I’m going to go get in bed for a while…try to take a nap,” Harry says, causing Louis’ brow to furrow with mild worry. 

 

“You aren’t hungry?”

 

He _was_. He was starving a couple of minutes ago, but now his stomach just feels uneasy, the sensation only worsening the longer he stands in the heavily-scented room. “Er- No, not really,” Harry tells him. Concern is visible in every line of his husband’s face, so Harry paints on a thin smile. “I’m okay. I’m just tired and anxious to get to our bed,” he assures him.

 

Louis watches him closely for a moment like he may not believe him. He nods after a few seconds though and grins back at him. “Okay, love. You go get some sleep then, and I’ll make you whatever you want to eat when you wake up.”

 

“Yeah, babe. That sounds good. Thank you.”

 

“Of course.” Louis says, lightly squeezing his forearm before leaning up to capture his lips in a kiss.

 

He can feel Louis watching from the doorway as he starts walking in the direction of their bedroom. Harry has only made it a few steps away when Louis’ voice makes him to stop and turn around to face him.

 

“Oh. And Haz? Welcome home,” he says with a warm smile.

 

Harry smiles back at him and carries his husband’s words with him when he enters their bedroom. It’s the first time in days since he’s been in here, however it feels like it has been an eternity. He steps out of his shoes and gently peels off his shirt before crawling beneath the sheets that they still haven’t washed. Harry inhales deeply, letting the familiar scent fill his lungs as he settles down in bed in the house that at one point he thought he might never get to see again. Harry has never been happier to be at home than he is right now. He even got a hero’s welcome back, which was more than he ever expected to find walking in. A lot of positive attention is being aimed at him for what happened, and for some reason it makes his chest hurt because Harry feels like none of it was actually earned. That’s why he tries not to think too much about the hundreds of flowers and the unread cards waiting for him outside the door. Every single one of them is probably a different form of praise for him being brave, for being a hero in the face of danger, except Harry doesn’t feel like a hero at all. He mostly just feels adrift.

 

*

 

Harry had expected for things to be a little strange once they got back, but he figured everything would quickly go back to normal since he was mostly just lying around resting and Louis was home from work for the next week. He figured they’d be lazy in bed together and eat take-out once Louis got tired of burning himself on the stove, but that fantasy only lasted for a few hours because their house has been filled with people coming in and out since the day after they returned.

 

His parents arrive under the guise of helping him and Louis out since Harry’s not allowed to do much, but Harry suspects that they’ve really come because they want to be close to him. His parents aren’t the only ones who show up to offer their assistance. Liam and Niall stop by most mornings before work and then come over to check on them again in the evenings, usually staying on for dinner since they’re already there. Their house is small and cramped as it is, but everyone just wants to help and feel useful, so he and Louis sit back and let them.

 

The madness only lasts for a while before things start to settle down. Niall and Liam don’t come over quite as often in the mornings after about a week, though they still call and insist on stopping by most days after they get off work. His parents, though happy to stay right where they are and take care of him and Louis for the next month or forever, go back to Southampton on Sunday so they can be there to reopen the school for business the next morning. Slowly, life returns to normal, and that means that Louis has to go back to reality too.

 

“But I don’t want to go,” Louis whines on Monday morning when his alarm for work goes off for the fifth time. He’s been pouting since last night, staying right underneath Harry since his parents left as if they are two magnets that can’t be parted. Harry has loved every second of it, especially sine he’s still having trouble sleeping, wanting nothing but to be as close to Louis as possible too.

 

Louis’ so funny when he’s like this; frowning into Harry’s side where he’s curled up and refusing to move unless it’s to pull the covers back over them for a nap.

 

“Come here, you,” Harry grins, pulling Louis up so that his head rests on his chest right below his chin. He lightly scratches his nails up and down Louis’ bare back and presses a few soft kisses to the top of his sleep-mussed head.

 

“You’re not exactly helping, you know,” Louis says with a relaxed sigh that makes Harry a bit sad to have to see him go today too. “Maybe I can stay with you for just another day or two?”

 

Harry chuckles into his hair.

 

“One of us has to go back to work. And since I’m not allowed to do much at the moment, unfortunately, it has to be you.”

 

Louis sighs in dreaded defeat. “Why can’t we just be millionaires? I should’ve chosen that as a career,” he groans.

 

“Well, we could always rob a bank together. Though, we’d probably never get to spend any of the money seeing as how we’d both be incarcerated for life,” Harry jokes. It makes Louis snort a laugh, bringing out the first smile that Harry’s seen from him since he grudgingly woke up.  

 

“I’m sure there are other ways, Harold. I mean, you’re basically a modern day pirate. Isn’t sunken treasure supposed to be your thing?” he teases. “I bet there’s a whole chest full of golden doubloons just waiting somewhere for you to go find them and make us rich.”

 

Harry fondly rolls his eyes at Louis’ fantasy. “We’ve gone over this several times before, babe. I’m not an _actual_ pirate,” he tells him.

 

“No, but you _are_ a sailor, though. That’s like the next best thing,” he says matter-of-factly. “I should be literally rolling in ancient hidden treasure by now. That’s why I married you.”

 

Louis is only messing with him like always. It was a joke and his husband meant it as one based on his playful tone and smirk, but for some reason, Harry can’t bring himself to smile along today.

 

“What’s wrong?” Louis asks when he notices that Harry isn’t laughing with him.

 

“It’s nothing.”

 

Louis sits up to better see him. He takes Harry’s hand and massages the back of it with his thumb as he meets his eyes. “It doesn’t feel like nothing,” he frowns. “Talk to me.” Harry doesn’t want to. And even if he did, its not like he’d know what to say or how to explain what’s been going on inside of his head. Harry takes a deep breath and tries to be as honest as he can with him.

 

“It’s just- I don’t feel very much like a sailor right now,” he admits, hating how pathetic it sounds to his own ears.

 

Harry doesn’t feel like much of anything, really. He mostly just feels embarrassed and dumb for doing something that almost cost four people their lives including his own. He was stubborn and threw everyone around him into a worried panic, and now he just feels so lost after the fact.

 

“Haz,” Louis whispers in a voice that sounds so heartbroken for him. “Of course you’re still a sailor, love. You’re just taking a little break while you heal and rest up. You’re probably just restless because you’re not used to staying put for this long.”

 

Harry doesn’t know if that’s entirely true. When he was out there in the middle of that storm all he wanted was to get back to land. He prayed to make it back home, and now that he’s here Harry doesn’t really feel like leaving it. The water has always been a part of him like an extra limb or an extra layer around his heart. Harry wonders how long it’s going to take for him to feel that way about it again.

 

“Maybe you’re right. I’m probably just feeling a little restless,” Harry grins at his husband.

 

“You think so?” Louis asks as he searches his eyes. Harry nods to reassure his husband that he’s okay. “You’ll be back to your old self in no time, love. I promise,” Louis grins. Harry leans into his touch when he brushes his fingers along his cheek. He kisses Harry with so much certainty that Harry can almost believe him.

*

Days without Louis in the house have always been pretty quiet. Usually, Harry is working from home on the financial side of things with the boating school while Louis is at work, but it’s such a different kind of silence these days when Harry is sitting alone with his laptop because he has virtually nothing to do afterwards except sit and think.

 

Harry tries to distract himself the best he can by doing small things around the house that won’t aggravate his ribs. He decides to clean up one afternoon when the last of the flowers in the living room start to wither and shed their petals all over the floor. Harry has avoided that room pretty well, only going in there when he absolutely has to or when they have guests, but going in there to tidy up makes him feel loads better about it. He throws out the dying bouquets and stuffs the remaining cards of thanks and praise into the desk drawer with the others. Guilt only makes a small appearance in the back of his mind after doing so, but it’s such a satisfying accomplishment that Harry actually sighs in relief when he’s all done and flops down on the couch for a rest for the first time in over two weeks.

 

He fills his days with tiny tasks so that he feels like he’s busy even though he’s not. One day his big goal is to organize his and Louis’ closet, and then the next he makes a show of finally washing the bloody sheets. One day when he’s feeling particularly adventurous he drives to the supermarket and picks up groceries and then spends the afternoon cooking elaborate recipes for Louis to try when he gets home. Anything to keep himself occupied.

 

Louis checks on him through text message from the time he leaves each morning until he walks through the door eight hours later. He always looks so happy when he gets home, sporting a huge smile as he toes off his shoes in the middle of the entranceway and abandons them to come seek Harry out wherever he is. It’s like a breath of fresh air when Louis finds him, his hands and lips so eager to say hello after being separated from him for so long, and it’s honestly the best part of Harry’s day.

 

“I missed you,” Harry says against Louis’ neck where he’s got him perched up on the kitchen counter, his head leaned back against the cabinets.

 

“I missed you too. I missed you more,” Louis grins in challenge.

 

“I made you dinner.”

 

“I sped through traffic.”

 

“I made you dinner and dessert _and_ I picked up a bottle of your favorite wine. It’s already chilling on the table.” Louis gasps when Harry’s teeth clamp down on the sensitive skin behind his ear.

 

“Shit. Okay. You win. Fuck,” he breathes. Harry continues the path down his neck, scraping his teeth along his flesh and then soothing it with his tongue. “Is-Is tonight a special occasion?”

 

Harry grins before unbuttoning Louis’ shirt, still damp from the drizzle of rain outside. He opens it just enough to suck at the golden skin hidden behind it.

 

“Nope. No occasion,” Harry mumbles against him. “I just missed you.” Harry tugs at the hem of Louis’ shirt until it’s untucked from around his waist. He pushes it up and dips down to run his mouth along his stomach, even though the quick action slightly stings his ribs. He slowly bites down into Louis’ skin, causing his husband to moan as he grasps Harry’s curls in one fist and the edge of the counter in the other.  

 

They haven’t had sex in over two weeks. It’s probably the longest they’ve ever gone and has taken a lot of restraint on both of their parts to let Harry properly recuperate, but also not get caught fucking each other while their friends and family were hanging around the house all day every day. Harry works the front of Louis’ trousers open in record speed. He’s just about to slide them down his thighs when Louis grabs his wrist to stop him.

 

“Haz, no. Don’t. What about your ribs?”

 

They are burning from the way he’s bent forward, but only a little bit. The pain he feels right now is nothing compared to what it was before. It’s just a tingle, one that Harry will gladly accept in exchange for getting to touch Louis after all this time. “I feel fine,” he says, only slightly lying.

 

“I don’t want you to get hurt, Harry.”

 

“I won’t. I promise. I’ll be fine, babe,” Harry grins before sucking Louis off right on the counter as the potatoes boil on the stove.

 

As if to prove a point about just how fine he’s feeling, they pick up right where they left off in their bedroom after dinner. The steady pitter patter of rain is all Harry hears mixed in with his and Louis’ breaths coming sharp and quick from the way Harry’s moving inside of him. It’s been entirely too long since he’s been able to feel Louis in every single nerve ending of his body, punching familiar sounds from Louis’ chest that Harry has grown so used to hearing after all of these years. Due to his ribs lately, Harry hasn’t been able to do very much. He has been very limited in his physical activities, but this- _this_ is something he can do. Making Louis fall apart beneath him is the best he’s felt in a while.

 

Louis’ thighs tremble around him when he gasps out that he’s close. Harry lowers himself until he’s hovering right above his face, their chests slick and pressed together. He doesn’t let up with his pace, further digging his knee into the mattress to give himself the leverage he needs to reach deeper inside of him. Louis’ grip tightens in Harry’s curls and the skin of his back as he tries to hold out, but Harry’s steady thrusts push him over the edge. He cries out when he comes between them but the sound is lost in a loud clap of thunder that has Harry freezing as soon as he hears it. It startles him and captures every bit of his attention, sending his heartbeat racing even harder than it already was.

 

~L~ 

Louis cracks open his eyes and settles his starry gaze on Harry as his chest heaves up and down. He grins and curiously looks down where Harry has stilled his movements. “Did you already-?” Louis’ question gets severed by a bright flash of light from outside the window followed by a clap of thunder so powerful that it shakes the house.

 

He places a palm against Harry’s cheek when he sucks in a shuddery breath. Louis has never seen him act this way after sex. Harry is usually all smug grins and cuddles into his side. He doesn’t quite understand what has him so anxious until he follows Harry’s gaze to the window to watch another bright flash momentarily flood the room with light.

 

“Harry. Baby, look at me,” Louis pleads.

 

Harry has to tear his eyes away from the window to do as Louis asked, and when he does they’re filled with so much fear that Harry briefly shuts them as thunder rumbles around them again.

 

Louis watches in silence as his husband pulls out of him and Louis realizes that he didn’t even come. He doesn’t mention it as Harry moves next to him and wedges himself under Louis’ arm and drapes his leg over Louis’ hips. Louis doesn’t know what he’s supposed to do or say about the way his husband shudders with each new bolt of lighting that illuminates the room, so he just holds him, encasing Harry in his embrace until the storm passes.


	7. Chapter 7

No matter how hard Louis tries, he can’t seem to push the way that Harry reacted that night out of his mind. One moment they were in bed together and Harry was fine, and then the next he was so terrified of the storm outside of their window that he completely shut down before Louis’ eyes. He had latched onto Louis like a lifeline and ended up falling into a fitful sleep still wrapped up in his arms. It was hard seeing him that way because Louis has never witnessed his husband being afraid of anything before. Harry is the most fearless person that he knows, so it’s not something Louis really knows how to handle.

 

He tries to bring it up to Harry on more than one occasion, but it’s kind of hard to talk about an incident when his husband is determined to downplay it and pretend like nothing is wrong. He thinks Louis is overreacting and says that it was nothing; that he was just tired and feeling a bit off because his side had started to hurt him because of his ribs. Louis knows that’s a lie because Harry hasn’t been taking any of his pain medication, so he can’t be in that much pain. Louis also knows he’s lying because he’s seen Harry tired plenty of times before and not once has he ever acted the way he did that night.

 

It seems denial is the option that Harry has chosen to go with, and Louis doesn’t really have much choice but to follow his lead because as much as he would like to, it’s not like he can _make_ Harry talk. He can talk to other people though, that’s why he turns to his friends for help.

 

“So, does this happen _every_ time it rains or just sometimes?” Liam waits for Louis’ answer as he sips his coffee one afternoon at the restaurant beside Louis’ work. Liam and Niall didn’t ask many questions when Louis said he wanted to meet up for lunch and he was grateful because right now he just needs someone to talk to. Or in this case, two someone’s.

 

“No,” Louis shakes his head. “The rain doesn’t seem to bother him at all. It’s just thunder and lightning. He really couldn’t handle the lightning.” Louis had felt Harry’s grip tightening around him each time a bolt would streak across the sky.

 

“It makes sense,” Niall says. “Lightning’s what hit his boat and took it down. I don’t blame him for being freaked out by it.” Louis agrees, nodding along, because he can see how that would be traumatizing. He’d be wary of storms too if he lived through what Harry did.

 

“I’m not saying that it’s strange for him to react this way,” Louis explains, “I’m saying that I don’t know what I’m supposed to do about it because he refuses to acknowledge that something isn’t right.”

 

His friends wear thoughtful expressions across the table from him. Louis is out of ideas at this point about how to help Harry, so he waits patiently for their advice, hoping they can come up with a solution.

 

“Maybe what you should do is _not_ do anything,” Niall shrugs after a while. Louis and Liam both fix him with looks of confusion like he’s insane.

 

“Niall, he was literally shaking in Louis’ arms the other night. That’s not something that’s going to just go away,” Liam argues.

 

“And that’s not the only strange thing either,” Louis admits, feeling like a traitor for spilling all these intimate details about Harry to their friends, but he doesn’t know what else to do. “He never said anything about it, but he acted really strange about the flowers from all of those people being in the house. He never really wanted to go in the living room unless he had to. And he’s been able to go back to work without any restrictions for over a week now and he hasn’t even mentioned wanting to go down to the water. He’s still just working from home every day like he’s not allowed to leave.”

 

“He went through a lot, Louis. He hasn’t really been able to act like himself for weeks. It’s probably difficult trying to throw himself back into the swing of things.” Liam makes a good point. Louis knows that it’s probably hard for Harry to jump back into his everyday life, but pretending like nothing is wrong isn’t exactly helping.

 

“I’m playing a set at a pub tonight,” Niall announces after the table falls into another long silence. “It’s small and there won’t be many people. Maybe you could try to get him to come out for it. Like old times,” Niall suggests with a devious wiggle of his eyebrows.

 

“Old times as in a _couple_ of beers to loosen him up, not fifty. We want him relaxed not shitfaced,” Louis smirks when Niall has that familiar gleam in his eye. “But yeah,” Louis sighs. “Maybe a night out would make him feel better. More like himself.”

 

A night out would definitely do Louis some good too. He and Harry haven’t spent any time together outside of the hospital room and their house.

 

Liam lightly squeezes his arm to gain his attention. “It would be nice to hang out together. We haven’t since before the accident. It could help.”

 

“Yeah, we miss you two. It’s not the same without you,” Niall mumbles through the mouthful of salad he’s working on. He goes to say something else around another bite, but Louis holds up his hands to stop him before he can slobber out anything else.

 

“Alright, alright, you’ve convinced me,” he laughs. “I’ll bring it up to him when I get home and see what he says,” Louis promises, causing his friends to smile in victory. Louis smiles along hoping his conversation with Harry goes well. He really, really needs it to go well.

 

It ends up going way better than Louis anticipated.

 

“Yeah? Just us?” Harry asks with a fire in his gaze that Louis hasn’t seen in weeks. He looks eager and excited; just the way Louis’ used to seeing his husband after the mention of food, beer, and of course, Liam and Niall.

 

“Yeah, babe,” Louis chuckles. “We haven’t gone to one of Niall’s shows in a long time. I thought it might be nice for us to get out of the house for a while.” Harry’s green eyes are so light and happy that Louis wishes he would have taken Harry out weeks ago. Niall and Liam were right. This is just what they need.

 

“What time are we supposed to meet them?” Harry asks after consulting his phone. Louis reads the time with him, noting that it’s already past seven.

 

“In about an hour. I told them earlier that I’d ask if you were interested. They don’t know we’re coming yet.” Louis is briefly taken off guard when his husband launches himself at him, capturing his lips in a big, thankful kiss that has Louis laughing into his mouth from the force of it. “So, I’m guessing this means you’re interested,” Louis giggles after Harry kisses his forehead, both of his cheeks, and even his nose.

 

“ _Very_ interested,” Harry smiles. “I’m going to go get dressed,” he announces as he hops up from where he just attacked Louis on the sofa and heads in the direction of their bedroom. Louis watches after him, taking notice of his quick, bouncy steps. He can’t remember the last time Harry was this enthusiastic about going somewhere. Probably not since the morning he left for Southampton.

 

They do their best to hurry with getting dressed, and by some miracle, they’re both ready to leave within the hour.

 

Harry grins when he catches Louis watching him where he’s messing with his curls in the mirror hanging near the front door. Louis lets his eyes travel along the outfit Harry picked out, a tight pair of jeans with a white t-shirt that’s been worn so much that it has become one of the softest shirts that Harry owns.

 

“I’m almost done,” Harry promises, giving himself one last glance over in the mirror before stepping back. He walks over to their pile of shoes near the door and slips on his favorite pair of boots before turning to face him. “There. Now, I’m ready,” his husband grins, “And you. Louis, you look amazing, love,” he whispers. Harry takes him by the waist and presses a kiss so light against his lips that Louis’ pulse quickens at the touch. Louis didn’t really care what he was going to wear tonight when he threw on some jeans and one of his old band shirts. He would’ve worn pajamas or even a burlap sack if he knew it’d please Harry. He would’ve done anything to see his husband this happy again.

 

Harry leads them out the door, his warm palm resting at the small of Louis’ back as they step outside. It’s so familiar an action that Louis smiles to himself because he really has missed this side of them. Unfortunately, their moment of normalcy only lasts a few seconds more, because just when Harry turns to lock the door a slight rumble of thunder from above makes him suck in a sharp breath. Harry freezes where he is, his back and shoulders in a hard, rigid line when Louis approaches him with caution.

 

“Haz? Baby, what’s wrong?”

 

It takes him a while to answer, his attention directed up towards the sky. “Did- Did you know there was supposed to be a storm tonight?” he asks with a hard crease between his eyebrows. “I checked the weather a little while ago and I thought for sure it said-” The sound of another soft rumble off in the distance cuts off whatever he was about to say. He goes incredibly quiet, watching the sky like it may come crashing down at any moment. It hurts Louis to see him so scared when he was so excited a few minutes before.

 

Slowly, Louis takes the keys from Harry and holds both of his hands in his, rubbing small circles into his skin to keep Harry’s focus on him rather than on what’s happening around them. “No, I didn’t know, but I think the thunder we’re hearing is really far away. I don’t think we’re even supposed to get rain.”

 

Louis glances up at the slightly overcast sky noting the tiny pockets of stars that are able to peek through the film. Harry finally meets his eyes after a while. They aren’t quite as fearful as they were that night in their bedroom, but Louis can tell that his husband is still feeling uneasy, especially about Louis’ guess with the proximity of the storm they can hear building.

 

“We don’t have to go out tonight if you don’t want to, love. We can always stay in,” he whispers when Harry doesn’t seem to be feeling any better about it. Louis really hopes he won’t want to stay home because he’ll never get over his fears if he doesn’t at least try to face them.

 

Louis breathes much easier when Harry lightly squeezes his hand.

 

“I _do_ want to go, Lou” he whispers.

 

“Then we’ll go,” Louis says confidently with an easy grin, hoping to coax one out of his husband as well. He returns it, but only for a moment before his eyes turn leery.

 

“Okay, Lou. We’ll go, but- if the storm does come here…”

 

“Then we’ll leave right away. No questions asked,” Louis assures him with a quick kiss to his knuckles.  

 

Harry mulls it over for a minute before nodding. He allows Louis to keep the keys and then follows behind him once he finishes locking up the house. Louis drives them to their destination as well just to spare Harry any added anxiety. His husband glances up at the sky so often during their drive that Louis knows it was a good decision on his part. Louis turns up the volume of the radio so that even if the sky is shaking and booming with thunder above them, he and Harry can’t hear it.

 

They arrive and thankfully there hasn’t been a single drop of rain and Harry is less anxious seeing that the weather forecast for them was actually right. He greets their friends with big hugs and an even bigger smile on his face like he didn’t just spend the last twenty minutes staring out of the window of their car in fear. If Louis hadn’t just witnessed his husband in a panic, he wouldn’t even be able to tell that he was upset a few minutes ago. Louis’ so proud of him for being able to pull through and go on with the night as planned, but Harry’s ability to fake it is what scares Louis the most. He wonders what else Harry might be battling in secret without his knowledge.

 

No one notices anything strange. Harry drinks a couple of beers and seems perfectly fine, smiling and laughing with everyone. He begins to feel so at ease that he drapes a protective arm around Louis’ shoulders, pulling him close enough to smack wet kisses to his jaw all night whenever he says or does something to make Harry laugh. It feels just like any other night the four of them have shared together, except Louis is sober and can see through the façade that his husband is trying so hard to maintain. He hides it well, but Harry stiffens at every unexpected sound that echoes throughout the pub. He sticks to Louis’ side and when Louis isn’t next to him, he’s right beside Liam or Niall, hanging off of their arms and saying how much he’s missed them. His eyes are glossy from the alcohol, but Louis can tell that there’s still something like fear lingering in their depths.

 

When Niall leaves them to go play his set, he notices that Harry’s grip on his hand is much tighter than it would be ordinarily as he begins to sober up a bit. Louis doesn’t say a word. He doesn’t want to ruin what little solace his husband has been able to find here tonight, so instead of mentioning the fact that he can feel how shaky his breaths are coming where his head is resting against Louis’ arm, he tells Harry that he loves him and hopes that he can feel it when he presses a warm kiss to his forehead as the melody of Niall’s song floats around them.

 

*

 

Weeks pass by in a blur after that night, and Louis doesn’t really notice any signs of anything being wrong except for the fact that Harry’s still working from home each day. He hasn’t been to Southampton in over two months and everyone including Harry’s parents have started to notice.

 

Anne calls a few times a week to check in on them and she always asks Louis when they’re coming down for a visit. Louis can never give her a straight answer because even though Harry has gotten much better with his fear of storms over the weeks, Louis has no clue when he’ll will feel like getting back out on the water again. It took several incidences of Harry freezing up at the first sign of thunder or lightning as well as a lot of patience and encouragement to get Harry to a place where storms no longer paralyze him. He’s still a bit nervous during unexpected severe weather, but he’s a million times better than he was and Louis couldn’t be more proud of him and the progress he’s made.

 

“Do you think him not having his boat anymore is what’s really bothering him at this point?” his mother-in-law asks one day. Louis sighs into the phone. He’s wondered the very same thing since the night it was destroyed.

 

“I don’t know, Anne. He hasn’t really mentioned it.” Which isn’t anything new considering Harry rarely mentions anything about the night he went missing. That’s half of the bloody problem. He loved that boat, so Louis’ sure he misses it, but that shouldn’t stop him from sailing altogether.

 

“Well,” she begins slowly. “Robin and I have been talking about it, and we were thinking about maybe getting him a new one since he hasn’t looked into it himself yet. We thought it might be nice to surprise him. What do you think?”

 

Louis’ mind is working a million miles per second trying to figure out the likelihood of his in-laws’ brilliant plan going to shit. At first, he thinks it’s a horrible idea to force something like that on Harry without at least asking him first, but it’s not like he ever got much of a chance to prepare before any of the unexpected storms he’s had to endure since his accident. Harry hated lightning and everything to do with it two months ago, but after gradually being exposed to it again he’s gotten much better. Maybe the same would hold true for him getting back to sailing. Perhaps he just needs a gentle push in the right direction.

 

“Lou? What do you think, love?”

 

Anne’s voice brings him back to the conversation and out of his thoughts. He has no clue if it’s a good idea or not, but it’s worth a try. “His birthday is coming up in a few weeks…maybe if we move fast enough we could give it to him by then?” Louis says. “It would make a nice gift.”

 

He can practically hear his mother-in-law smiling through the phone when she answers with, “I think that would be perfect, love. Then it’ll just be another present instead of making it seem like such a big deal.” It’s going to be a big deal no matter when they give it to him, Louis thinks. It’s a brand new sail boat and Harry isn’t an idiot so he’ll know they’ve all gone out of their way to give it to him. Louis just hopes it produces the result they’re all hoping for.


	8. Chapter 8

~H~

The cool breeze feels nice against Harry’s skin when he rolls down the window of the car to let in some fresh air. He was feeling a bit lightheaded this morning when he woke up, mostly due to the celebratory drinks he had last night for his birthday when Louis and his friends took him out. Between dancing, gifts, and an unlimited supply of birthday shots from Niall, it was easily the most fun he’s had in a long time. He honestly didn’t think his birthday could get any better, but then Louis woke him up this morning with a big smile and the promise of one more birthday surprise for him to receive. Harry probably asked a hundred questions between then and now to get his husband to spill about what this mystery surprise entails, but Louis just shook his head with his lips sealed tight after ordering Harry to get up and get dressed.

 

Harry peeks over at him where he’s got one hand on the wheel and the other absently twisting the longer pieces of his hair between his fingers where his elbow is resting against the door. He notices Harry admiring him from the passenger’s seat after a few minutes and his lips pull up into a smirk.

 

“Yes, Harold? May I help you?”

 

“You could tell me where we’re going,” Harry says in a sweet, kind voice he hopes is persuasive enough to break Louis’ strong will. Louis’ eyes soften for the briefest of moments, but then his smirk is back, drawing Harry’s attention to his sinfully beautiful mouth.

 

“Not a chance, Curly.”

 

Well, so much for that.

 

Harry rolls his eyes at his smugness for having the upper hand for once. Harry lets him have his moment, since usually it’s Harry who’s doing the surprising when it comes to birthdays and special occasions because he loves to watch his husband’s reaction.

 

He returns his gaze to the open window as Louis turns onto the highway. It only takes a minute or two before Harry realizes the direction in which they’re headed. “Lou. The surprise…it’s not Southampton, is it?”

 

Louis nervously bites at his bottom lip, seeming strangely hesitant to answer him. “Well, technically the surprise is _in_ Southampton,” he says carefully.

 

His words cause the tiny bit of excitement that Harry had been feeling to fizzle down to an anxiousness he can feel starting to crawl up his throat. Louis must notice his drastic change in mood because he adjusts the steering wheel in his grip to reach for Harry’s hand.

 

Harry hasn’t been back to his hometown since he left the hospital. He kept planning to go back to work with his parents once his doctor gave him the okay, but he never could make himself go. He misses it. He misses his family, and he misses the part of his life that used to make him feel so free and so _him_ , but the thought of going back makes him feel as though he’s drowning.

 

“Tell me what you’re thinking,” Louis whispers, his hand still firmly grasped around Harry’s in comfort.

 

“I don’t know if I’m ready to go back yet,” he admits. And he hates that he feels that way about his home because it’s been _months_. He should be over whatever this is by now, but he can’t seem to move past it.

 

Louis is quiet for a long time. So long in fact that Harry thinks he may have upset him by reacting this way, but when he speaks again it’s with all of the patience and encouragement that he displayed when he helped Harry with his fear of stormy weather. “Baby, your parents and I have been working on your surprise for a few weeks now, and I promise that it’s nothing bad, but if we get there and you decide you can’t handle it or you want to go home, then I completely understand. Just tell me you’re ready to go and we’ll leave and forget this whole day even happened, okay?”

 

Harry is so grateful for his husband. He’s always looking out for him. He always wants to do what’s best for Harry and his happiness. Harry trusts him with his entire heart and he knows Louis would never do something that might hurt him. This surprise, whatever it may be, can’t be any different.

 

“So…it’s something good?”

 

Louis nods and grins enough for his eyes to crinkle up in that way that Harry has always enjoyed watching. “Yeah, love. It’s a birthday gift from all of us,” he proudly confirms.

 

“And you won’t tell me what it is? Not even a small hint?”

 

Louis glances over at the way his bottom lip is slightly pushed out in a pout and snorts a laugh at his efforts. “Nice try, but no. Not a chance in hell, mate,” he says before dropping a quick kiss to Harry’s hand.

 

*

 

They’re in the car for almost two hours by the time they reach the city. It’s only been a few months, but it feels like it’s been years since Harry’s travelled along these familiar streets and houses.

 

They pass by several homes for sale on their way to the school. Usually Harry would point out the ones he could see him and Louis moving into one day whenever they decide to start that next chapter of their lives together. It’s a hypothetical game that the two of them have been playing for years and it never gets old, except these days, they don’t really talk about the future as much. Harry used to bring up moving to Southampton and raising kids with Louis all the time, but things have been so fucked up; _he_ has been so fucked up that Harry now feels strangely guilty for adding unnecessary stress to their lives by mentioning children. And besides all that, Louis has made it clear that he’d like to wait a while before they start a family anyway, so he says nothing.

 

“What about that one?” Louis asks all of a sudden, pulling Harry out of his thoughts. He follows Louis’ questioning gaze out of the window to a white house with thick wooden shutters. It’s cute, but it’s small. Probably the same size as their current house.

 

“Nice, but not big enough,” Harry answers, watching as Louis bites down on a smile.

 

“Yeah, I guess you’re right. There’s no way we could fit eight kids in there.”

 

Harry laughs at that visual. “ _Eight_?”

 

“Okay, fine. Maybe only like four or five,” Louis smirks. That’s still way too many, but Harry is enjoying the fantasy nonetheless. “How about that one? It looks cozy,” he says nodding his head towards an old house that looks about one strong gust of wind from becoming a ruin.

 

“Yeah, no thanks,” Harry says, laughing along with Louis because neither of them would ever step foot inside of that place.

 

Harry glances out of his window a few minutes later and sees another available and more _appropriate_ house coming up. It’s light-blue and huge; probably three times the size of the first one they saw. It has tall windows and a big front door that lets out onto a wooden porch covered in flowers and white trim. “What about that one?” Harry smirks just waiting for Louis’ excuse as to why they can’t live in it.

 

Louis’ eyes leave the road for a few seconds to examine the house. The whole point of this game is for one of them to point out a house they come across and then for the other to come up with some outrageous reason as to why it would never work. Harry expects for his husband to play along and say that this blue house looks too clean or it’s too small to raise a family of twenty, but he just quietly grins to himself instead.

 

“I think it’s perfect. I’d raise a family with you in that house,” he says with complete sincerity.

 

Harry narrows his eyes at him. “Really? Even a family of eight?” he teases. Harry feels an army of tiny butterflies take flight inside of his stomach when Louis grins at him.

 

“I think chasing after one or two little ones would keep us pretty busy, don’t you?”

 

The two of them have probably had this discussion over a million times and it usually ends with Louis having convinced Harry that the timing isn’t right for them to have children; that they should wait, but that was before the storm. Lots of things have changed since then, however, based on the tiny glimmer of hope in Harry’s heart about what Louis is suggesting, not all of the changes have been bad. “Yeah, babe. I think one or two would be nice,” he smiles back.

 

*

 

Louis turns down the gravel path of the school and Harry can feel his skin humming with nerves as the little cabin comes into view. They roll to a stop in front of it and Louis gently squeezes his thigh.

 

“You ready?”

 

He’s grinning and his voice is light, but Harry can tell that he’s just as nervous about this as he is. Louis’ never had a very good poker face. Everything he thinks is always visible in the depths of his blue eyes and Harry can tell that he’s trying hard to make him feel comfortable and at ease.

 

“I’m ready” Harry answers even though he isn’t sure if that’s true.

 

They step up onto the porch and Louis takes his hand in his before pushing open the door to the cabin. He makes sure to take a wide step over the lifted part of the floorboard; a practiced move that took him a long time to get the hang of when they first met. Although, Harry always suspected that Louis actually enjoyed tripping through this door because it gave Harry an excuse to come rescue him. He’s spent years trying to get Louis to admit it to no avail.

 

Harry’s parents look up from the front desk as soon as he and Louis enter the room. They come rushing over to welcome them. Robin and his mother hold onto them like it’s been ten years since they’ve last seen each other, and after almost three months apart Harry can see why they feel that way because he’s missed them too.

 

“We’re so happy to see you, darling,” Anne says when she steps back to take a better look at him. “How are you? How was your drive?” Harry breathes a laugh at how eager she is to hear about him when she just spoke to him on the phone yesterday to wish him a happy birthday.

 

“I’m good. Louis drove us so the drive wasn’t too bad either.”

 

“Yeah the drive was good even though your son pestered me the entire time trying to fish for details,” Louis mutters under his breath causing Harry to roll his eyes.

 

“Well, you dragged me out of bed, hinted about this big mysterious surprise, and then gave me literally nothing else to go on. What did you expect me to do?”

 

“I was hoping you’d sleep the entire way,” Louis smirks to himself before Harry playfully nudges him in the arm with his elbow to shut him up.

 

His parents laugh at the two of them bickering back and forth. Anne takes both of Harry’s hands in hers. “Don’t blame it all on Louis, love. We asked him not to tell you,” she explains looking almost as nervous as Louis did earlier in the car.

 

“Well, can someone tell me what it is now?” Harry pleads. He’s played along for about as long as he can. He’s smiling and pretending like everything is fine when really he’s desperate to know why everyone is treating him like a piece of glass about this.

 

“How about we show you instead?” Robin smiles at him before taking his mother’s hand and leading them all outside.

 

 

Harry had already begun to suspect what Louis and his parents were up to when he was told his surprise was in Southampton. He became even more convinced when they started walking towards the dock and he noticed the way the three of them kept exchanging nervous glances between one another. All of his suspicions about his surprise are confirmed as they step up on the deck and Harry sees the tall mast of a new sailboat floating at the end of it.

 

He’s not sure who reaches for whose hand first, but soon his and Louis’ fingers are woven together so tightly that Harry’s afraid he might be hurting him. He tries to loosen his grip and steady his breathing so that no one knows how hard it is just looking at this beautiful boat his loved ones probably spent a fortune to buy him. They all flash him careful smiles like they’re waiting to see if he can handle this once they reach the end of the deck. Anne speaks up first when Harry still hasn’t moved from Louis’ side to touch it.

 

“Harry… we know that you had to overcome a lot after the night of your accident.” Harry feels like he’s been through hell, but he refuses to let his face show it as she continues. “You’ve been so amazing through all of this and we’re so incredibly proud of you. There’s no way that we can go back and change what happened that night, but we can try to give back at least one thing that was taken from you. This isn’t your old boat. That one was special to you and there’s no way that it could ever be replaced, but we hope you’ll maybe grow to love this one just as much.”

 

His mother is crying by the end of her speech and Harry moves on instinct to wrap her in a hug. Harry smiles at her when he steps back. He smiles at all of them, because this new boat is gorgeous. They did such a good job with it and even had it named for him, the words _Blue Swallow 2_ painted in a similar shade of light-blue as the original. It’s beautiful and he knows he should be eager to hop in it and take off, but he just can’t bring himself to do it. He doesn’t want them to think something is wrong or that he’s ungrateful, so he does stoop down to run his hands over the sleek body of it. He feels their eyes on him so he steps down into the boat to have a closer look at the inside. It’s a quick inspection. Harry’s only in the boat for a couple of minutes before he proclaims his love for it and then climbs right back onto the deck. Louis’ gaze burns into him the entire time.

 

“I can’t believe you guys did this for me. Thank you _so_ much,” Harry says as he hugs them. His parents look so relieved when he pulls back.

 

“You should take it out,” Robin suggests. “You don’t have to go far. It can be like a little test drive.”

 

Both of his parents look at him with expectant, hopeful gazes. The only person who seems to think that Robin’s idea may not be the best plan is his husband who meets his eyes with uncertainty as he tries to read Harry’s mood.

 

“Um, that sounds like fun. I’d love to, except I’m still feeling kind of out of it from last night. I don’t know if the water is really the best thing for my stomach right now,” he says.

 

His parent’s faces fall in disappointment before they both turn to Louis for confirmation, and because his husband is the best person in the entire world, he helps give credibility to Harry’s lie.

 

“Yeah,” Louis nods in agreement. “He had quite the birthday night out. The alcohol wasn’t too kind to him this morning when we woke up,” he grins at Anne and Robin, and just like that Harry’s home free.

 

“Oh, alright then,” his mother rolls her eyes. “But promise me you’ll at least take it out sometime before you leave, okay?” she smiles. Harry tries not to meet her eyes when he nods and swears that he’ll do just that.

 

They start talking about going out for lunch after a while, but Harry speaks up before they pick somewhere to go.

 

“I’m actually feeling kind of tired…” Harry says after a while. Louis gives him a look of significance like he can be ready to start up the car as soon as Harry even hints that he’s ready to go, except he’s not ready to leave just yet. He’d really just like some time to himself to think, and he can’t do that if they all go out. “I think I just need a quick nap to feel better,” he clarifies so Louis doesn’t try to whisk him away to safety just yet. “You guys go on without me.”

 

No one goes for that. His parents invite them to the house for lunch instead and then throw out about a dozen unsubtle hints for them to stay for dinner and spend the night. They agree to stay for dinner however Louis throws out a few unsubtle hints of his own, making up some random excuse about work so they don’t have to stay if Harry decides he doesn’t want to. Harry loves his husband so much.

 

*

 

He walks into his childhood home and immediately feels all of the tension leave his body because it’s not that he doesn’t _want_ to be here. He loves being at his parents’ house. He doesn’t know what’s wrong with him, but then again, he rarely does these days.

 

He heads up to his old room, the same one that he and Louis stay in whenever they visit, but today Harry goes up alone. He pulls the covers over his head and closes his eyes, wondering if things are ever going to feel normal again. Nothing feels the same as it used to. He thought that feeling would go away after the first few weeks of him being home, but it hasn’t. Everyone has been so patient with him. They all believe in him so much and he feels awful because he isn’t getting any better. His friends and family assure him that he’s been amazing, that he’s doing a great job readjusting, but Harry just isn’t so sure about that.

 

His mother comes to wake him up for dinner when it’s time. He’s drowsy from sleeping so long and he still isn’t very hungry, but he enjoys the company of his family and the warmth of Louis’ body where they’re sitting side by side at the table.

 

He’s tired again by the time they’ve all finished eating. Louis looks at him questioningly, a silent inquiry of whether or not he’s okay. Harry presses a soft kiss to his lips and says he just needs to lie down for a few more minutes so he knows there’s no need to worry.

 

Harry has no idea how long he’s been asleep up in his old room when he hears the soft creak of the door opening. He assumes it’s his mother coming in to check on him again when the other side of the bed dips from someone climbing into it. Harry cracks his eyes open and grins when he sees Louis there smiling across from him.

 

“Hi there, sleepyhead.”

 

Harry chuckles but then feels bad because he’s been hiding up here in his room all day. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to leave you with my parents all this time.”

 

Louis rolls his eyes at his apology. “I always enjoy spending time with the in-laws. It’s way better than hanging out with _you_ all the time,” he smirks. Harry reaches over to pinch his arm, but Louis doesn’t even flinch. He just continues to smile at Harry, his eyes shining with affection and what Harry quickly recognizes as mischief. “Get up,” he says.

 

Harry scoffs at him and lets out a little laugh at the order. “Be more bossy, will you?”

 

Louis smiles good naturedly before tugging on a few of his curls, causing him to yelp in surprise. “Hurry up, Curly. We’re losing daylight,” he says before crawling out of the bed, leaving Harry to stare at nothing but the empty sheets.

 

“W-Wait. Where are we going?” he asks, sitting up at full attention now that Louis’ rummaging through the room.

 

“On a boat ride. It’s almost sunset,” he explains as he throws equipment into one of Harry’s empty duffle bags.

 

Harry feels his chest tightening at his words. “Louis. I’d love to, but I don’t think I’m ready to sail a boat right now. I mean, I’m out of practice, and- and that’s a brand new boat out there…” Not to mention the fact that he’s terrified of fucking something up like he did the last time he was out on the water.

 

Louis turns to him with sympathetic eyes. The look is only there for a beat before his lips turn up into a smirk.

 

“And who says you’re sailing us anywhere? This is _my_ adventure. I’m merely inviting you along to watch.”

 

Harry narrows his eyes at him, looking for any signs of Louis bullshitting him.

 

“You’re not serious,” Harry decides after a few seconds of trying to find cracks in his husband’s resolve.

 

“Yes, I am. And I’m seriously going to leave you here if you’re not walking out that door with me in the next two minutes,” Louis tells him. He stares Harry down for a full thirty seconds before shrugging and turning to leave. “Okay, then. Suit yourself. See you in a bit. Bye.”

 

Harry throws back the covers and shoves his feet into his shoes at record speed when his husband walks out of the room. Louis has been taking private sailing lessons with him for six years. Every outing they’ve ever been on has been an unofficial learning opportunity for him. He could probably operate that boat and be just fine; _probably_. Harry sees what his husband’s trying to do here and it’s admirable, but he’ll be damned if he lets Louis take that boat out by himself.

 

“Oh. Glad you decided to come along,” Louis grins when Harry catches up with him at the bottom of the stairs.

 

His parents aren’t around when they leave. He suspects they’re somewhere in the house though because Louis doesn’t lock the door on his way out of it. Louis hops in on the driver’s side of the car and flashes Harry a bright smile as he drives them to the school.

 

 

Harry hadn’t really planned on taking the boat out even though he swore to his mother he would. He figured he could come back another time and pretend like he forgot, but walking down the gravel path towards the deck with the sun sitting low in the sky reminds Harry of every evening he and Louis spent together on his old boat. He’s not so sure if he’s ready for the open waters again, but he’s glad to be here anyway with Louis at his side. Their arms brush against one another as they make their way down the path and Harry smiles because even though many things have changed over the last few months, _this_ feels exactly the same.

 

 

~-~

_Harry had double and triple checked his bag before he left home, but he still peeked inside of it again once he and Louis climbed into the boat. He checked over his shoulder, making sure Louis was sitting down near the rudder before he unzipped his duffle to quadruple check. Harry let out a deep breath when he laid eyes on the black jewelry box still right where he’d left it._

_“I still don’t know why I couldn’t carry that earlier,” Louis scoffed. Harry hurried to zip the bag up again and then stuffed it in the corner of the hull out of his reach. Louis had only been trying to help when he started picking up random things to carry onboard with them. Harry didn’t really think it through before he snatched the duffle out of his hands._

_“Er- It was kind of heavy, babe. You shouldn’t have to carry my stuff,” Harry lied. It obviously wasn’t a very convincing lie based on the skeptical look on his boyfriend’s face._

_“Uh, huh. Right,” he rolled his eyes, casting another furtive glace in the direction of Harry’s bag, but saying nothing else on the topic._

_It was dusk; Harry’s favorite time of day to be out on the water because no matter what, it was always beautiful. Even when clouds covered most of the sky and shielded the sun, the faint beams of light peeking through the grey made the waters look so peaceful. This evening was no different. The sky was so clear that every color of sunset was visible as they sailed to the most special place in the world._

_The trip didn’t take very long with the wind helping them, and before Harry knew it they were drifting into the little cove he first brought Louis to a year and a half ago. They had been back a few times since, but never for something this big or important. The sunset was just right by the time Harry closed the sails and dropped the anchor, letting them float and bob along the soft waves._

_“I love it here,” Louis grinned over his shoulder. He was leaned over the edge of the boat like always, admiring the colors of the sky reflected on the water’s surface all the way up to the shore. “It’s so pretty,” he sighed as he straightened up and reclaimed his seat. Louis smiled as he looked out over the horizon and Harry was certain that he could never love him more than he did right then. He knew Louis was special the moment they met. He had figured Louis would change his life, he just didn’t know how much. Not until that first night when they came to this place, and Harry realized right then and there that nobody else was ever going to make him feel the way that Louis does when they’re together and that he wanted to keep that feeling always._

_“What?” Louis asked when he noticed Harry watching him. His cheeks were a little flushed from being watched and he had that look in his eyes that said he knew Harry was just thinking about him. Harry wondered if he could hear how fast his heart was racing too. If he could tell his body was trembling with nerves._

_“It’s nothing,” Harry lied. He took one last look around them, his lungs filling with the salty air when he took a deep breath. “Um, would you mind getting my phone from my bag, Lou? I want to take a picture before it gets too dark.”_

_Louis didn’t move at first, raising an eyebrow at his random request when Harry could easily get the phone himself since the duffle was right next to him._

_“Oh, you mean I get to touch your precious bag now,” he joked. He got up after a moment of teasing and carefully made his way closer to him. He kneeled to dig through the duffle and Harry’s stomach turned somersaults the entire time. Louis huffed out in frustration at not being able to locate the phone which was tucked securely into the back pocket of Harry’s jeans, out of sight._

_“Find it yet?” Harry asked, smirking at the death glare that Louis shot him from beneath his lashes._

_“No. I can’t find it. It’s probably not even in here,” he grumbled before going completely still. He looked up at Harry through his lashes again, but this time his eyes were filled with warmth, and so much love that Harry could feel it radiating from his gaze. He pulled the jewelry box out of the bag to further examine it, fighting a stubborn grin when he met Harry’s eyes._

_“Find it yet?” Harry smiled, causing Louis to playfully shove him in the chest._

_“I knew you were being weirder than usual!” he exclaimed. He only turned the box over in his hands for a few moments before eagerly handing it off to Harry with bright eyes. “Go on and do it. I’m ready. I’ve been ready.”_

_Harry laughed at his sudden impatience to see the ring that he didn’t even know existed until a minute ago._

_He took Louis by the hand and sat him down in his place. He kneeled down and ran his fingers along the unhinged side of the box before opening it and hearing Louis’ breath catch in his throat. He hadn’t really thought up a proposal speech. Everyone told him to plan at least a few words to say, but Harry figured he wouldn’t need to; that the words would just come to him in the moment just like they did when he told Louis he was in love with him for the first time. He probably should’ve listened to that advice, because Harry quickly realized that he couldn’t think of anything besides the absolute joy that he felt when he finally placed the ring on Louis’ finger._

_He managed to string together a sentence or two about how much he loved Louis and how he was the best person to ever trip and fall into his life. He had barely even gotten the big question out when Louis threw his arms around his neck and crashed their mouths together with so much force that the boat swayed beneath them. It was a kiss like no other and left Harry’s lips tingly and warm. Louis pulled back with tear-stained cheeks, but the smile he wore let Harry know that they were good tears. Louis was so happy and he looked completely overjoyed, and after a moment of watching him admiring his new ring, Harry realized that he hadn’t actually given him an answer._

_“Just so we’re clear, you are marrying me right?” Harry laughed._

_Louis glanced up from his ring, confused. “Wait, I have to marry you?” he grimaced. “And here I thought my pirate boyfriend just looted the nearest village to get me a cool new ring because I’m pretty.”_

_It only took a few seconds of Harry staring Louis down with a flat face before he caved, his bright laughter ringing out across the water._

_“Of course I’m going to marry you, Haz. My answer is yes. Always, yes,” he said as he pulled Harry in for another deep kiss. “I love you,” he whispered and Harry smiled because he could feel the truth of it in his very soul._

 

_Harry fondly shook his head at him when they parted. “I love you too,” he chuckled. “Even though you’re quite the handful. And ridiculous. Can’t forget that,” Harry added. He never left that off of the list of things to describe Louis._

_“And you’ve just gone and offered me a lifetime to spend with you. You didn’t really think that one through did you, sailor? You’re stuck with me now,” he smirked._

_“Good. I can’t wait,” Harry told him before pulling his future husband in for another long kiss._

~-~ 

 

 

Louis swears aloud as he reaches over Harry to untie them from the dock. He spends a lot of time working with the knot that’s secured so tightly that Harry knows his stepfather must have been the one to tie it. His focus in unparalleled until his fingers finally loosen the rope enough to untangle it. Louis lets out a small sigh of relief and self-pride when the boat begins to slowly drift away from the deck. He doesn’t say anything to Harry, only giving him a smug grin in passing when he returns to the front of the boat. _Still_ ridiculous as ever even after all of these years.

 

Harry takes a deep breath as they drift further and further away from land. He’s not scared of being on the water. Fear isn’t what he’s feeling right now. It’s mostly just nerves and adrenaline coursing through him as he watches his husband attempt to turn the boat into the wind.

 

He’s doing a pretty good job for someone who only pays half attention when Harry tries to teach him. Louis smiles to himself for getting the boat positioned correctly, and Harry thinks that maybe he could’ve managed this on his own. Though, he quickly changes his mind about that when Louis hesitates to open the main sail.

 

He’s got his back to Harry, so he can’t tell exactly what the hold up is, but he’s got one hip popped to the side and one of his hands scratching through his hair like he’s trying to figure something out so Harry decides to offer his assistance.

 

“Need help?” he asks as he comes to stand next to his husband.

 

“No. I don’t need any help. This is my sailing adventure, remember?”

 

Louis tries to ignore him, staring long and hard at the various rigs and ropes connected to the sails, and that’s when Harry realizes the issue. Louis’ only ever learned to sail on Harry’s boat. It was much older than this one and wasn’t nearly as nice so things look a bit different.

 

“Here, you have to pull on this one,” Harry instructs him, taking the end of the correct rope and placing it in his hands. “You tie it off here and then tie off the smaller sails beside it,” Harry points, nodding in approval as Louis moves to follow his instructions.

 

It takes him a long time as well as multiple breaks for Harry to explain how to complete each step, but eventually the sails are up and they’re picking up speed with the help of the wind. Louis glances up at him for his approval once they’re sailing along at a good pace.

 

“You’ve come a long way since your swan boat days,” Harry grins at him.

 

Louis flushes and ducks his head to hide his smile. “Yeah, well, I have you to thank for that, don’t I?” Harry feels his cheeks warming too from the look of pride in his husband’s eyes. He clears his throat to try and stop the way his stomach is fluttering.

 

“You’re doing great,” Harry assures him before turning to make his way back to where he was sitting, but before he can take a step Louis’ hand curls around his arm to stop him.

 

“Wait, don’t go... I need you to help me.”

 

Harry rolls his eyes because he knows exactly what Louis’ trying to do here. He’s known since he let Louis ‘ _trick him’_ into coming on this little excursion. “Lou, the hardest part is already over. You know you don’t need me. You’re doing fine,” he tries, but Louis isn’t letting him go that easily.

 

“I can’t sail _and_ navigate at the same time,” he argues.

 

He can’t navigate at all, actually. Louis is great at many things but reading maps isn’t one of them, and he’s never had enough patience to sit down and learn.

 

“Where are you even trying to go?” Harry sighs.

 

Louis’ gaze turns soft when he removes his grip from Harry’s arm and takes his hand instead, linking their fingers together. “You already know where,” he whispers.

 

He doesn’t have to say anymore than that. Harry agrees to help him, telling Louis where to go from memory because he’s never needed a map to find their cove.

 

When they arrive, Louis doesn’t even have to ask before Harry is assisting him with closing the sails and dropping the anchor. The sun has long since set since it took Louis so long to get them headed in the right direction, but the view is still as beautiful as ever when they take a seat beside one another. They’ve been here so many times before that this place feels sacred to Harry, like it belongs to him and Louis and no one else. It’s always been that way, except now Harry can’t stop thinking about the last time they were here when Louis found him washed up on the rocks, so scared and broken that Harry thought for sure he was going to die. He hates the fact that he’s ruined the one thing that was supposed to be untouchable with something so awful. It’s just one more piece of himself on the long list of things tainted by the aftermath of his accident.

 

He doesn’t realize he’s crying until Louis moves even closer and leans his head against his shoulder. Louis holds onto him, soothing him with his hands rubbing along his back when the tears start to fall at a faster rate.

 

“I’m sorry,” Harry chokes out through his sobs. At times he feels so guilty that it overwhelms him. Kind of like right now even as he feels his husband shake his head to reject his apology.

 

“You have nothing to be sorry for. Baby, none of this is your fault,” he whispers.

 

Harry only cries harder, because he knows that it is. He’s known since the moment the lightning struck his boat and he got pummeled by the waves surrounding them; it’s just that no one else wants to admit that he’s to blame. “I was so stupid. The weather said there would be bad weather that evening and I went out anyway.”

 

“Haz, that forecast was for hours later. You couldn’t have known,” Louis argues. “You don’t have control over when a storm hits.” Harry knows that. The sky was only a bit cloudy when he took those kids out but that quickly changed. The storm came too quick for him to be able to do much about it, however that doesn’t change the fact that it happened.

 

The walls of his throat ache from how hard he cries once Louis pulls him in towards his chest and holds him there in his embrace, allowing Harry to sob all over the front of his shirt.

 

“I wish I’d have stayed in bed with you that morning,” he admits. Leaving has been his biggest regret for the past three months. If he hadn’t been so set on coming to Southampton that day none of this would’ve happened. All he had to do was wait another twenty-four hours and he and Louis could’ve been in Southampton together under better terms.

 

“I know, love. But even if you had stayed, I don’t think it would have changed anything. People get caught in storms all the time, baby. That’s a part of sailing, and unfortunately it’s a part of life too,” he whispers. When Harry pulls back to see him, Louis’ eyes are shining with tears, but only because he looks so proud of him.

 

Harry tries to take Louis’ words and hold onto them as they sit together and he attempts to come to terms with them. He doesn’t know how long they’ve been drifting across the waves when his eyes finally dry, but it feels good to be able to breathe again and Louis is right there with him the entire time.

 

“I ruined your big boating adventure,” Harry says after a while, his throat and chest feeling so much better. Louis just shrugs, grinning as he fixes his stray curls and moves them behind his ears.

 

“I don’t mind. Let’s be honest. We both know sailing isn’t my greatest skill,” he chuckles.

 

Harry shakes his head in disagreement. “You’re wrong. I think you’re a great sailor,” he tells him.

 

Louis’ face brightens from his praise. “That’s because I had great teacher. I learned from the best.”

 

 

It’s almost midnight by the time they decide to head back. Harry can’t remember the last time they spent this long out on the water talking and just enjoying being in each other’s company. The only other time that comes to mind was the night of the day they first met when their sunset boat ride bled into the next sunrise. Late night sailing is kind of a tradition of theirs, so in a way Harry feels like this new boat has been christened.

 

Harry had planned to take his original seat for the journey back and only offer his assistance when asked for it, but Louis moves quick and beats Harry to the spot.

 

“I’m exhausted,” he fake yawns as he slinks back against the edge of the boat. “Can’t you sail us back?” he pouts. Harry fondly rolls his eyes at him and how clever his husband thinks he is.

 

“I thought this was _your_ boating adventure?”

 

“It is. I’m sleepy though. I’m done being a sailor for the night, but that’s alright, because that’s what I have you for, _matey_.” Harry bites down on his smile. It’s been so long since Harry’s heard that nickname that he doesn’t even argue with him. He’ll sail them home if it’ll keep Louis smiling at him like that.

 

“Alright, fine. I’ll be nice since you insist that I sail your lazy arse back to shore,” he quips.

 

“I do. And you are very much appreciated for it,” Louis grins before getting comfortable in his seat to watch Harry raise the sails.

 

*

 

Harry doesn’t even know what time it is when they finally crawl into bed, but he knows it’s late. They had to tiptoe through the back door with the spare key that Robin keeps under the doormat because everyone was already in bed by the time they got back.

 

Louis slips in on his side of the bed, dipping the mattress beneath his weight as he settles down. Harry finds Louis’ lips with his own as soon as he’s close enough, hoping that his husband can feel the thanks and the love that he’s trying to pour from his heart.

 

Harry falls asleep with Louis curled around him and his shoulders a little sore from sailing, and it’s the best he’s slept in months.

 

~L~

 

Louis wakes up and is momentarily disoriented because he’s not in his room at home. Slowly, consciousness filters into his brain and he begins to remember that he’s at Harry’s parents’ house. There’s just one problem with that though, because when Louis reaches out for him, he realizes that Harry isn’t there.

 

It’s morning, but just barely based on the faint glow of the sky outside the window. He runs his palm over Harry’s side of the bed again, noting that it isn’t freezing yet so he can’t have gone too far. When he’s been gone for longer than the duration of a trip to the kitchen or the bathroom, Louis sits up and reaches for his phone. Louis frowns when he sees that it’s not even six o’clock yet, but then his face breaks into a sleepy grin when discovers a new picture of the current morning sky and horizon from the bow of Harry’s new boat.

 

‘ _You looked so peaceful that I didn’t want to wake you. Love you. Wish you were here Xx,’_ is what the message attached to it reads.

 

Louis smiles so big and his heart feels so full that he feels tears springing up to his eyes as he sends his reply.

 

‘ _Be safe, sailor :)_ _I love you too. See you when you get back Xx.’_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's nearly epilogue time! :)


	9. Chapter 9

Five Years Later

***

Louis feels his phone vibrating in his back pocket for what has to be the fourth time as he leans over into the car to strap Ella into her seat _._ He glances at their house through the back window trying to remember whether or not he locked the door. He’s pretty sure that he did. At least he _thinks_ he’s pretty sure. Actually, the longer he thinks on it the less sure he is so he sends up a quick, silent prayer that nobody robs them blind in the time that they’re gone.

 

His phone vibrates again and he sighs because he knows exactly who it is being this impatient. It’s Harry. He knows it without a shadow of a doubt, and Louis would love to stop and chat with him, but he can’t right this second.

 

He’s running a bit behind. His hands have been full for the past thirty minutes, first while he was trying to clean Ella up from her playdate with their neighbor’s daughter (seriously, why _anybody_ would give two three-year-olds fingerpaint is beyond him), and now while he’s rushing around like a maniac trying to get the both of them safely into the car. The phone vibrates again and Ella’s tiny fingers come up to prod at the deep crease that forms between Louis’ eyebrows as he struggles to fasten her into her seat.

 

“Daddy? Are you mad?” she asks. Louis spots the evidence of her recent painting session still lodged beneath her fingernails and stuck to bits of her hair. She looks like she fell head first into a bloody rainbow. Oh, well, Louis thinks. It is what it is.

 

“Mad? _Me?_ Of course not,” Louis says to her. He smacks a loud kiss to her cheek which is mostly free of paint. That only makes her giggle, so Louis does it a few more times, peppering kisses all over her face the way that she pretends to hate. “I could never be anything but happy with you around,” he exclaims after successfully strapping her in. _Finally._

 

With that done, he quickly moves towards the front of the car and hops into the driver’s seat. He gets the keys in the ignition and puts the car in reverse to back out of their driveway, but before he can get any further, his phone vibrates again with a new message. Louis stops what he’s doing, putting the car in park and letting out another small sigh because he knows he’ll never get anything accomplished at this rate if he doesn’t stop to take a look at whatever it is that Harry wants him to see so badly.

 

The crease that had formed between Louis’ eyebrows earlier melts away as soon as he unlocks his phone and sees about half a dozen pictures of Harry and their son William laughing and smiling while out on the water. They look so happy and adorable together that Louis kind of wishes he had looked at the pictures earlier.

 

Ordinarily, Will stays at home with Louis during the day along with Ella, but some days the kids prefer to venture out with his husband and ride along while he gives lessons. Ever since Harry took over the school for his parents, he’s been responsible for running it as well as keeping up with instructing its students. It’s too big of a job for just him, so he works alongside three other instructors that he hired and Louis now handles the financial side of the business. Usually, Harry can creep out of the house for his morning sail around the property to clear his head without either of their kids even noticing his absence before he’s back to help Louis with breakfast, but their son often wakes up with the sun just like Harry. He did so today, already dressed and waiting for his father downstairs when he pleaded to come along and then spend the day with him at work too. Harry couldn’t say no. He never can.

 

“Aww,” Louis smiles to himself as he swipes through the photos of their five-year-old in his lifejacket helping to steer the boat with Harry looking so proud with his arm around him. “Look, El. It’s your brother at work with daddy.” Louis twists in his seat to show Ella the pictures. She’s interested for a little while, quietly expressing her desire to go to work with Harry one day too before directing her attention back to the doll she must’ve grabbed on their way out of the door. Louis chuckles, wondering how serious Ella is about going to work with her father since she likes to sleep in just as much as Louis. He’ll believe it when he sees it.

 

Louis swipes through the pictures once more before forwarding them to Liam, Niall, his parents, and every other person he knows. He then types out a quick reply to his husband as well. ‘ _So cute_!’

 

Louis is just about to continue backing out of the drive when he gets a new message from his husband. ‘ _Aww, thanks, babe. Now say something nice about Will :)’_

 

‘ _Ha. Ha. You’re hilarious. I didn’t realize pirates had a sense of humor,’_ Louis sends.

 

‘ _Ever seen Pirates of the Caribbean? Johnny Depp is amazing,’_ Harry retorts.

 

‘ _Damn, you’re right. THAT’S the pirate I should’ve married. Is he single?’_ Louis enjoys watching the little dialogue bubbles pop up and then disappear as Harry tries to think of a comeback.

 

He laughs when Harry caves and sends an upside-down smiley with a simple _, ‘Shut up.’_

 

Louis grins at his own victory and sends his husband an obnoxious string of hearts to soothe his wounds. He tucks his phone back into his pocket and glances at Ella in the rearview mirror where she’s still focused on her doll. “Ready to go see Papa and Will?” he asks, delighting in the excited _yes_ and the bright toothy smile he gets in return.

 

*

It takes a bit longer than usual for them to get there due to traffic, but they’re mostly on time so Louis congratulates himself on keeping his word when they arrive.

 

He takes Ella out of her car seat and places her down on the ground. Her small feet barely even make a crunching sound against the gravel before her grandmother rushes out of the cabin to scoop her up in her arms.

 

“Ella, my love! I was hoping I’d get to see you today,” Anne smiles at her. Ella squeals in delight when her grandmother kisses her cheeks, her light-colored hair bouncing and falling into her face as she laughs while trying to get away. Anne turns to him once she’s finished greeting her youngest grandchild.

 

“Louis, it’s good to see you as well, love! How are you? And- And what in the world is all over your arms?” Anne asks, curiously eyeing the random splashes of color dried to his skin from battling to get Ella clean. His mother-in-law laughs as she pulls him into a one armed hug and presses a kiss to his cheek as well. Louis sighs because he’s about eighty percent sure there’s paint there too.

 

“So, finger-paint is arguably the worst invention ever,” he mutters which only causes her to laugh, “But, I’m alright. Just here to pick up Will and annoy the husband of course,” he smirks. “How about you?”

 

Anne sighs contentedly as she adjusts Ella on her hip. “I’m great,” she beams. “I just came in to see if Harry needed anything and to help out at the front desk for a little while.”

 

Louis is sure that ‘a little while’ probably means she was there for a few hours at least. His in-laws gave Harry the school almost a year after his accident. He and Harry sold their small house in the city, bought the huge light-blue one that they had both fallen in love with, and moved to Southampton without a second thought. Anne and Robin have enjoyed seeing Harry step up and come into his own these past few years, but unfortunately, they still get a bit nostalgic about the school so they end up spending a lot of their time just helping out. Harry says that’s what he loves the most about moving back; that even though lots of things have changed, everything that’s important to him has stayed the exact same and that includes his family always being close to him.

 

He and his mother-in-law chat for a bit more before he heads toward the water. Louis tries to get Ella to come with him to go find the boys, something she had buzzing about in the car, but she soon realizes that staying with Grandma Anne means getting to play with her doll in the cabin, so she declines. Anne is elated of course. She always is when she gets to spend time with the kids, so Louis leaves his daughter with her and promises to be back once he has Will.

 

Louis makes the familiar trek down the gravel path and spots his son at the opposite end of the deck as soon as he steps up onto it. He’s crouched down with Harry at his side as they tie off one of the boats together. Will looks over his shoulder when he hears Louis’ footsteps approaching and lets out a little gasp before running at full speed in Louis’ direction.

 

“Dad!” he yells when he wraps Louis’ legs in a crushing hug that almost knocks him off his feet.

 

Louis bends to return his enthusiastic embrace and kiss the top of his head. Will smiles with bright eyes like he hasn’t seen Louis in ages. Both of their children do that anytime they’ve been apart from him or Harry for a little while. They always give the biggest and warmest hugs as greetings and it’s absolutely one of Louis’ favorite parts about being a father.

 

“Hey there, little sailor. How was your big day out on the water without me?” Louis asks even though he can tell by his son’s face that he had a wonderful time.

 

“It was s _o_ cool!” Will says with his big brown eyes alight with excitement. “Let me show you what Daddy taught me!” He takes Louis’ hand in his and pulls him towards the heap of rope laying out on the deck without even waiting for Louis’ reply. “Daddy showed me how to tie a knot just like Grandpa,” he brags, just like the day he bragged to everyone after Harry taught him to tie his shoes. Louis sees Harry’s eyes lighting up with pride as their son unties the rope so he can show off his newly learned skill. It takes Will and his little fingers a long time and the tiny figure eight he creates isn’t pulled anywhere near as tight as when Harry or Robin tie it, but it looks good either way. It’s much better than what Louis could pull off and he’s an adult who’s been taking lessons for a bloody decade.  

 

“ _Woah_. I can’t believe how great of a job you just did! That’s amazing,” Louis tells him.

 

“I know. I can do it again!” Will grins, already unraveling his knot so he can start over.

 

Harry grins up at Louis as their son works to weave the rope together. He waits until Will has gotten the knot started again before standing up to seize Louis by the waist with eager hands.

 

“Hey there, big sailor,” Louis grins. He pushes up on his toes to match Harry’s height and throws his arms around his neck. Louis fully expects to feel the press of his husband’s lips at any second, but what he gets instead are Harry’s fingers digging relentlessly into his sides to tickle him. Louis squawks, cackling as he tries to get away from the attack, but Harry holds him there in his tight embrace so he can’t escape.

 

“Johnny Depp, huh?” Harry rumbles in his ear. Louis grins because for him, jealous Harry ranks right up there with tight-jeans, shirtless Harry and mid-orgasm Harry.

 

“Mmmm. Oh, I _definitely_ would,” Louis purrs. “You know me. I love a man with a plaited beard,” he teases. Harry pinches him this time, only spurring Louis on to tease him more, but before he can make up another lie to rile him up Harry pulls him in by the back of his neck to connect their mouths and greedily lick into his. The feeling is a bit of a shock considering they were just laughing and joking and William is literally sitting below them playing with ropes, but Louis doesn’t dare object or push him away, enjoying the way electricity seems to spark down his spine and along his bottom lip when his husband bites down on it.

 

“You were saying, love?” Harry whispers against the shell of his ear. He pulls back with an overly-pleased smirk at the way Louis has gone completely still and silent before him. And, like magic, Louis suddenly gives zero shits about whatever nonsense he was just teasing his husband about. _Johnny Depp, who_?

 

“ _Please_ say we can go home like, right now,” Louis blurts out, his attention caught up on the fresh pink color of Harry’s lips when he licks them.

 

“Wow. You cut straight to the chase, don’t you?” Harry chuckles. He glances around the deck, taking inventory of the number of people he sees like he’s just now noticing that there’s one less kid running around. “Er- We’re missing one, aren’t we? Where’s El?”

 

“She ditched me for your mum. Now, lets get back to that _other_ thing we were just discussing,” Louis pushes. Harry laughs taking one look at Louis’ flushed cheeks and the restless way his fingers are drumming against his leg. Harry steps closer to him and captures his lips again, but this kiss is much more innocent than the first. There’s no teeth, tongue, or tightening of Louis’ jeans this time, but that doesn’t make him any less anxious to get Harry home and in their bedroom…preferably now and preferably naked.

 

“I’d love to go with you guys now, but I’m going to need to stay a little while longer to close up,” Harry says in apology, his green eyes already wide and begging Louis to forgive him.

 

“Ugh.” Louis sighs dramatically even though technically he knew that Harry wouldn’t be coming back with them just yet. The rest of the boating staff has left for the day, but Harry still has to lock everything up. “Oh, alright. Fine,” Louis drones. “Go on and stay here another seven or eight hours, _matey_. See if I care,” he smirks.

 

Harry shakes his head and laughs before planting a quick kiss to his forehead. “I’ll be home in an hour. I promise,” he whispers, causing Louis’ heartbeat to do that thing where it kicks up a few notches from nothing but his husband’s words.

 

Louis nods and takes their son by the hand once he’s finished showing off. Will waves his father goodbye and Harry makes him the same promise of being home in no time at all.

 

The two of them turn to walk back up the deck. They only make it to the end of it before Louis pauses at the sound of Harry’s voice calling out to him and laced with amusement. “Lou… you do realize there’s paint all over you, yeah?”

 

“I know,” Louis states with a proud tilt of his chin. “I put it there on purpose. This was a _choice.”_

 

Harry snorts a laugh because he knows that’s a fucking lie.

 

“You should stick to that story, babe. It’s good. Even _I_ almost believed you,” Harry teases.

 

Louis glances down at William happily skipping along beside him and refrains from telling Harry to fuck off, so he shouts something a bit more child friendly. “Shut it! I love you! See you at home!” he calls back. All he hears in response is Harry’s continued laughter.

 

*

 

Louis had wondered why the car ride to the school had seemed unusually quiet. He thought maybe he was just distracted because he was running late or maybe Ella was tired from her playdate where she attempted to paint over every inch of her skin, but Louis quickly realizes that the weird silence was due to the fact that Will was missing from the equation.

 

Louis smiles listening to his kids talk about their days in the back seat, the two of them trying to one up each other with what they got to do. By the time they get home, both of them are so wrapped up in their debate that they don’t even realize that Louis has stopped the car, gotten out of it, unhooked Ella’s car seat, and is currently holding open the door for them to get out.

 

“How about you both win,” Louis says diplomatically. “You both had a great day so it’s a tie. Will, you’re basically Blackbeard and Ella, you’re practically Picasso, so everybody’s a winner.” Louis smiles at them hoping to encourage them to move a bit faster. All he gets is a couple of confused frowns in response because his children are uncultured and apparently have no idea who either of those people were. “I’m ordering pizza,” Louis tries instead, and it works. As soon as he says it the kids shuffle out of the back seat and race for the front door because food is an awesome motivator and Louis is clearly a genius.

 

~H~

Harry gets home right on time just as promised feeling a smile split his face when the kids pounce on him as soon as he walks through the door. He drops his bag and kicks off his shoes before letting them pull him to the ground for their routine three-way wrestling match. Will goes easy on him, only tackling him with a couple of bear hugs since the two of them spent the whole day together. Ella isn’t quite as forgiving seeing as how Harry hasn’t seen her since this morning at breakfast. She clings to him and laughs until she’s breathless when Harry tickles her and yells at the top of his lungs about how much he missed her.

 

Coming home is one of the best parts of Harry’s day and that’s only partly because of all the love he gets from his children. He can hear the other big reason why he loves this time of day in the kitchen where he’s rattling things around as he prepares dinner.

 

It takes another full ten minutes and a pinky promise with each of their kids to resume their battle later tonight, but eventually Harry is able to sneak away to find his husband.

 

He spots him as soon as he enters the kitchen standing in front of the countertop with his feet bare and a streak of bright green paint going down the back of his arm. His white t-shirt is hanging off of his shoulders, indicating that it’s really Harry’s white t-shirt, but he looks amazing anyway.

 

Harry’s hands find their place along Louis’ middle, wrapping around to his stomach until the two of them are standing flush together. Harry breathes him in just behind his ear, smiling when Louis lets the back of his head rest against his chest. “Hi,” Harry whispers before dropping a kiss the side of his head.

 

“Hey, baby,” he says with a squeeze to Harry’s hands still locked around his waist. Louis abandons the pizza he was just plating up by pushing it to the side and then turns around in the circle of Harry’s arms to face him. Harry lets his hands travel the dip of his husband’s waist to his hips and then down around his bum. He has every intention of lifting Louis up to sit him on the counter for a proper hello, but Louis’ next words distract him.

 

“Hey, did you know our kids know _nothing_ about Picasso?”

 

Harry's hands freeze right where they are. “Wait, what?” he laughs, wondering where the hell that came from.

 

“I’m serious. They’ve never heard of Blackbeard either. I made a joke today and they looked at me like I’d grown an extra head.”

 

“So, what? They’re kids. They never get references,” Harry shrugs.

 

Louis shakes his head in mock disappointment. “They’re uncultured. We’ve failed.”

 

“So we’ll take them to a bloody museum,” Harry suggests before following through with his original plan and hoisting Louis onto the counter to kiss every inch of his skin that still has fingerpaint on it. Louis only puts up a tiny argument about being manhandled in the middle of his pout before he’s grinning with each brush of Harry’s lips.

 

“I missed you,” he says after a while. “Did you have a good day?”

 

“I did. It was nice having Will with me. I let him come along for a couple of lessons. We had a great time together.”

 

“Aww. He’s been bragging to Ella since I picked him up about how much fun he had. She swears she’s going to be the one to get to go with you tomorrow, so heads up,” Louis grins.

 

Harry chuckles knowing she probably sounded just like Louis making a promise like that about getting her way. He’d love to bring her along with him tomorrow. Hell, Harry would bring all of them to work each day if he could.

 

“Maybe everyone can come along for my morning sail. We haven’t done that in a while.”

 

The way Louis grins to himself makes him look so beautiful. He looks just as excited about the prospect of going out on the water as he did back when it was just the two of them. They have William and Ella now, so their outings are bit different these days. They don’t do as many late-night boat rides as they used to, but that doesn’t make their quality time any less special no matter what time of day they choose.

 

“I’d love that. We all would,” Louis smiles.         

 

“Then we’ll get up first thing in the morning and head out,” he promises. “There’s supposed to be a storm later on tonight, but all the bad weather should be gone by sunrise. It’ll be perfect.”

 

Louis nods, however the excitement in his eyes slowly turns into something bordering concern for him. “You gonna be alright, sailor?” he asks with a small grin. Louis cups his cheek and Harry leans into the comfort of his touch.

 

“I think so. It’s not supposed to be that bad,” Harry assures him. Stormy weather used to be so difficult for him to get through after his accident, but he’s much better now. Thunder and lightening still aren’t his favorite things in the world, but they no longer bother him as long as it’s not too intense and he knows about it beforehand. Harry keeps a close eye on the weather so that he’s always prepared and he postpones any boating activity with the school if it’s supposed to turn nasty. He nearly lost his life once by being reckless, so he now does everything in his power to make sure something like that never happens again.

 

Louis leans in to kiss him, making any anxiety that he may be feeling melt away. “We can watch a movie after dinner and then put the kids in bed early so they’ll want to get up for the boat ride.”

 

His husband’s suggestion seems innocent enough, but Harry knows he only wants the kids in bed so they can be free to wait out the bad weather together in their room instead of calming the kids if it does turn out to be a bad storm. Louis’ always looking out for him; always trying to make things as easy as possible for him and their family, and Harry loves him so much for it.

 

“Yeah, Lou. They’ll enjoy tomorrow morning more if they’re well rested,” he agrees.

 

“Okay, then.” Louis kisses him again before hopping down from the counter to finish getting the pizza onto plates and onto the table. He glances over his shoulder after a minute or so and notices Harry still standing there watching him at work.

 

“What?” Louis grins. “Is there more paint on me somewhere?”

 

“There’s literally paint on you everywhere. You’re covered in it,” Harry laughs, but that not why he’s standing there. “I just love you,” he says, causing Louis to smile and blush like he did the first time they met when he faces him.

 

“Well I guess I should order pizza more often, then,” he teases.

 

Harry presses a kiss to the side of his head before heading back to the living room to get the kids ready for dinner. He hears Louis say that he loves him too before he leaves the room though and it sends little butterflies whizzing around in his chest.

 

*

The kids don’t really notice that bedtime arrives a bit earlier than usual when he and Louis tuck them in. They kiss their babies goodnight, but don’t tell them about the family boat ride the next day so it’ll be a surprise.

 

Louis’ suggestion to get them in bed before the storm hits turns out to be a good one when the wind gets so bad outside that the house creaks from the strong gusts. He and Louis head to their room too once it starts, but not because Harry’s afraid or feeling anxious about what’s going on outside their window. When they crawl into bed together Harry kisses Louis and holds him close for no other reason than he wants to. They make love in the dark room, only catching flashes of each other’s skin when thunder rumbles above them and lightning streaks across the sky, and Harry isn’t bothered by any of it. He focuses on the feeling of Louis’ breaths against his neck and the way he can feel Louis’ heart racing where it’s pressed right next to his. The amount of love and affection in Louis’ eyes is more dazzling and more breathtaking than any bolt of lightning could ever hope to be, so Harry centers his gaze there, lost in the blue waters of his irises, but feeling so at home.

 

The storm is over by the time they’re curled into one another with Louis quietly sleeping against his chest. Harry spares a single glance out of the window at the dark sky wondering if he’s ever felt more thankful, more content than he does right now for the life he’s been given.

He remembers a time not so long ago when he thought he’d lost everything and nothing would ever be the same again. His accident was awful. It was the scariest thing he’s ever had to overcome, but he’s so glad that he made it through and that he had such a great man by his side who was there for him every step of the way. Harry never would’ve guessed how much more was just on the horizon for them, that he’d have to weather a storm like the one he went through just to get here. And now he has everything he ever wanted with the love of his life wrapped in his arms. Harry no longer needs to wonder if things are going to turn out alright because he has family, love, an entire life, and peace found right there with him.

 

~L~ 

As soon as Harry taps him awake Louis burrows further down into the sheets to escape because even though he’s yet to see a clock, he knows it’s much too early for him to be conscious. Hiding only works for little while though, because soon his husband peels the covers away from his body and presses his warm lips against his shoulder blade.

 

“We have to get the kids up,” he whispers. Louis frowns as he tries to figure out exactly why that needs to happen, but then he flips over to meet Harry’s excited eyes and remembers.

 

Louis sits up, now a bit more awake that he recalls their conversation about the family joining Harry on his morning sail. He pulls on the same t-shirt and pair of joggers from the night before and yawns before flopping across the mattress again with a thud.

 

“Babe, can this be a pajama party boat ride or are you going to force us to make the kids look respectable?” Louis mumbles, watching as Harry gathers everything they need for their outing. Louis is all for whatever option keeps Ella from fighting him about which purple shirt out of a billion that she wants to wear.

 

His husband smiles when he sees Louis lying star-fished in the middle of their bed. “Let’s leave them as they are. I always wanted to have a pajama party on my boat. Who needs real clothes anyway?” he smirks before leaving their bedroom to wake the babies for their sunrise adventure; a trip which will thankfully feature all of them looking like a family of complete slobs.

 

 

 

Understandably, Will and Ella are a bit sleepy when they all pile into Harry’s boat, but the kids are so ecstatic about the surprise that their smiles make them look wide awake and alert. Their son sits with Harry as he works, listening carefully and helping out when he can, while Louis holds little Ella in his lap who hasn’t stopped yawning since they got out of the car. In just a few minutes they begin floating away from the deck and sailing towards the horizon. Harry guides Will over to sit on Louis’ left so he can watch the colors of sunrise with ease like everyone else.

 

Louis feels goose bumps blanket his skin when Harry comes to sit next to him on his right and captures his lips in a long kiss that makes Louis’ stomach swoop.

 

“Good morning,” Harry grins like he does every day when they wake up in bed next to one another.

 

“Morning to you too, Haz,” he whispers, smiling as they glide across the soft shimmering waves. Louis bites down on his grin, hardly believing his husband and his life are real from how surreal it is just being here. The water is amazing and the sky is crystal clear above them. His children are happily chatting about God knows what, and Harry is smiling at him like he’s never seen anyone or anything quite as beautiful. This is so much more than a _good_ morning for them, Louis thinks. It’s incredible.

 

***

The End

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for all of your kudos, comments, and encouragement as I wrote this! And of course I have to thank the wonderful FallingLikeThis (Zayniam) for being so helpful and amazing as per usual :)


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